Treat you better
Shawn Mendes' Treat You Better was, at least for a moment, the theme song for my relationship with the woman I fell in love with during my separation. She had told me some things about her husband, and I thought, "I could treat you better." I thought, erroneously, that any man could have treated her better, and, most certainly, I could! It's true, any girl like her deserves a gentleman, but that man is not me.
While it may seem I'm walking over the same old ground here, I also feel it's necessary to let things run their course. Bear with me.
As she shared more about this complex man, this man whom she loves dearly, I've come to respect him on many levels. And I've changed my mind and now say no one could treat her better than him. He is truly a wonderful husband, father, mentor, coach, and all the other roles he fills. He fits her like a glove, and it's easy to see why she loves him so much. It's time for me to recognize my mistake here one final time. I could not have been more wrong.
He is selfless, sure of himself, strong, confident, like a rock for those in his life. He's a wonderful father to his two children, and I'm sure they miss him very much now that their parents are divorced. Their mother surely lets them see him as much as possible, for who can separate the principal people they love? Not a woman with a heart such as hers.
He knows what he wants. And he gets it. He's a true winner, with a "winning smile" to match. He's used to winning as much as I'm used to losing. I'm the kind of man who won't take what he wants because that may seem impolite (even if it's handed to him). In fact, I won't do diddly squat for myself because I'm usually the last person I think of. Having to take care of myself during the last few months has been unnerving because I don't have anyone else to think of. The spotlight is on me, and I hate that. This man has no such qualms. She told me she "traded up" when she was with him, and I agree. She made the right decision of the man she would spend her life with.
He'll fight for his family. He'll fight to get his wife back. He'll do what he has to do, I'm sure. He loves her, and she loves him. When he tells her she's beautiful and fuckable, that's a compliment of the highest order because he loves sex (like all men) and she's the one he's chosen. Yes, he cheated on her once in a moment of weakness but knew it was a mistake, underwent counseling, and it hasn't happened again. We all make mistakes.
Men are warriors. I think it's strange when people say they don't like some guy because he isn't "nice," like that's the only thing that matters in the world. Yeah, don't be a dick to people, but men are born warriors. We fight for our women, our children, our families, our towns, our football teams, and our countries! This man is a warrior; I can tell. But I get the feeling he's also a nice guy and well-liked. I wonder if he knew all those years that she worshipped him. I wonder if he knows she still does. How many men get a woman like that thrown in their laps?
Also, He's more than just a physical guide through life for his children. I know he's taken them to church. He teaches them and guides them through the many milestones they face. Mostly, he teaches them to take life by the balls because that's the best way to live. No one is going to make a way for you in this world. You have to do it yourself. He's a strong man, evincing strength and confidence to all those around him. I'm sure his dear wife felt taller just walking beside him, beaming with confidence as they went through life.
She's told me how perfectly they fit each other, how suited they were for each other, how evenly paired. After more than two decades of togetherness, nothing can tear them apart. Her love for him has endured the greatest storms and she will love him until she dies. It's a perfect kind of love. How it came about from two imperfect souls, I have no clue, but it did.
Of all the things I've been unsure of the last few years, this is no longer one of them. All those years ago, she chose the right man when she passed on me. I cannot measure up in even a single way to the man he is. He surpasses me in every category. Those two are perfect for each other, and it's easy for me to see now. I was jealous and wanted her, and, for a moment, I believed I could have her. If I was a better man, as the song Better Man (Little Big Town, written by Taylor Swift) says, maybe things would have been different. She ran from me twice, which verifies her love and her bravery. Now I see why her heart will always belong to him. She's been in love with him since she was 18, and time or disregard cannot erase a love like that. She loves harder than anything I've ever seen. When I thought I loved hard, she loved harder.
Treat You Better displays an abusive relationship and offers an alternative — a better alternative. I cannot say I am a better alternative in the slightest. When I watch this video now, I feel I need to get my ass kicked by this man from whom I tried to steal his beautiful, loving, loyal wife. I deserve nothing less, and I look forward to finalizing the punishment for the awful sins I've perpetrated on this man, this woman, and this family. I know God offers forgiveness, but, first, let me have my punishment.
It is with incredible sadness I close out this post, for I've broken something beautiful. I am 100 percent to blame for the shattered lives of this family. My insolence is ever before me. I've asked God to punish me quickly so we can all get on with things. Some things are not ours to love, even though we wish they were. And now I can say what real love looks like, for I have seen it up close in her eyes when she was looking into his.
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