The end of the road

 
Originally my plan was to end this blog after one year. Frankly, I wanted to put the damn thing out of its misery. Today is the one-year anniversary, but I just can't do it. There have been some really ugly posts lately. Still, in all the ugliness, I feel a cathartic cleanse. It's like sitting in a therapist's office and hearing myself say things that never would have been said otherwise. There may be no truth whatsoever in them, but at least they are out there and they can go bother someone else instead of me. The little buggers. 

 After 238 posts, I'm not going to call it quits as I intended. I do need a break from this, though. It's a virtual problem-solving exercise, and what I need is real-world problem-solving. That will be my focus.

I wish to thank all of you who have diligently read my ups and downs over the last year. It's been intense at times, and too often it's been tedious. If you're just discovering this blog, I was dealing with a divorce, falling in love with another woman, and the subsequent end of that relationship as well, all within a short amount of time. So, yeah, lots of fodder for writing. Not a whole lot of room for fun, though.

What's startling to me are the changes in my life, my outlook, my frame of mind, my well-being, and my overall health over the last year. It's shocking where I was and where I am now. I don't recognize myself anymore, though the jury is still out on what's good and what's bad about those changes. 

At times, this blog was my only friend, as I shied away from the world through the hardest moments of my life. Gradually, I moved into a better place with my God, a place I am not willing to give up for the world. My takeaway is that all of this was worth it because of that one thing. I'm sure it could have been accomplished in another, less painful way, but I'll take it. 

I love all of you who have read my blog and followed along on this unique journey. Thank you for devoting your time to reading. After all, giving your time to something shows how truly invested you are.

While I have seen some awful changes in myself over the last year, I know I won't stop dreaming or believing in love. I hope neither will any of you. 

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