Beautiful Girls

Beautiful Girls, released in 1996, has long been one of my favorite movies. It's not for everyone, I admit. Also, I'm not sure how well it has aged. I watched it last year and enjoyed it, yet something felt different. Perhaps what's different is me. 

Human beings are meant to change. Our lives are relatively short, yet significant. Without adjusting, changing, growing, and advancing, our lives are much less significant, though. Staying stuck where we are is problematic for a lot of reasons. I mention this because this movie deals with the way we change and grow. 

The movie is set during a 10-year reunion in a small town. The main character, Willie (Timothy Hutton), is at a crossroads in his life. It's time to grow up. Staring at him is the pull of youth and also the demands of adulthood. His old friends seem stuck in high school mode. When men refuse to grow up, it impacts their relationships, and his friends show signs of stagnation in their relationships with women. One of his friends is a happy family man, the lone foil of a man who has transitioned to marriage and adulthood. He seems resigned, yet content. 

The crisis is brought to the forefront by a pair of female characters we're introduced to. There's Natalie Portman's character, Marty (13-year-old tomboy with an "old soul"), and also Uma Thurman's character, Andera (beautiful cousin of their bar owner friend). These two do more to advance the plot than any other characters. Indeed, they force the main character into a decision about his future. This is the power of women in men's lives. They advance the plot.

Marty is the siren call of youth. Andera offers an alternate route to adulthood (bypassing Willie's lawyer girlfriend). It's an interesting dynamic. Both characters are perfectly portrayed. 

My point in writing this post is a bit of a confession. For many years, I was locked into a stagnant mode, unable to move forward. I was unhappy with the decisions I had made and felt trapped. Women often end up on the receiving end of men's immaturity. I have to admit, my immaturity impacted my marriage. I wanted to move forward but was unable to. Eventually, I gave up. Then I gave up on my marriage for other reasons. I had a wholesale change of heart years ago and the changes I've seen in the past few years bear that out. 

What this movie means to me now is not what it meant to me in the past, as I've far surpassed the 10-year-reunion milestone. I have to take a longer view back at my life. Mostly, I'm sad. I'm devastated, actually. I built my life on unsound people and places, and have suffered immeasurably as a result. Right now I'm unable to trust myself. If I made poor decisions in the past, what will prevent me from making poor decisions now and in the future? Unfortunately, that line of thought often leads to more stagnation because of a paralyzing fear that I might screw up again. I must take the insight I've gained and move the plot along, regardless of any female lead. 

Just for reference, 1996, when the movie was released, was the year I graduated high school. The world has changed significantly in that time, and so have I. With the right mindset and with a heartful of prayer, I intend to make the rest of my life much more significant and less remorseful than the last 23 years.