my careless contagion

Beautiful Girls , released in 1996, has long been one of my favorite movies. It's not for everyone, I admit. Also, I'm not sure how well it has aged. I watched it last year and enjoyed it, yet something felt different. Perhaps what's different is me.  Human beings are meant to change. Our lives are relatively short, yet significant. Without adjusting, changing, growing, and advancing, our lives are much less significant, though. Staying stuck where we are is problematic for a lot of reasons. I mention this because this movie deals with the way we change and grow.  The movie is set during a 10-year reunion in a small town. The main character, Willie (Timothy Hutton), is at a crossroads in his life. It's time to grow up. Staring at him is the pull of youth and also the demands of adulthood. His old friends seem stuck in high school mode. When men refuse to grow up, it impacts their relationships, and his friends show signs of stagnation in their relationships with ...

As with any loss or setback, I was afforded a moment to stop and look back and assess what my life had become. I was unhappy in the wake of my girlfriend's cheating, of course, but I was also unhappy with myself. I had wagered on a girl and had lost. My heart knew I had chosen the wrong girl. For the next 20 years, I grieved that fact. As I sit here today, I am still grieving.  It would be the better part of two decades before I understood what happened with Cindy, the girl I thought I'd be with. I would see clearly my mistakes and missteps. And, most stunningly, I would see the gem of a girl I knew tarnished by her own relationship. It's hard to say who I grieved for the most when I realized I could have saved her from all of that. Graduation day (featured on the Beautiful Girls soundtrack) is about a girl I should have been with. It's hard not to recognize the day we graduated as the day that separated us. I honestly thought we'd be together. When I was sl...