my careless contagion

Perhaps readers wonder what happened over the last year, where I ended up, what life now looks like. Perhaps not. Fair enough.  The last few months looked a lot like this . (It's  a few seconds and says it all.)   Took time for my nervous system to return to baseline. Maybe some say it couldn't have been that bad. Oh, shucks, you're right. It was totally not a big deal. I moved 1,400 miles away and still have nightmares more than a year later. I don't plan on expounding on what happened anymore. My June 13 post, The Naked and Famous — Young Blood , explains, if there is further interest. On this blog, I cut the crap. I acknowledge the unacknowledged. It's not always pretty, but it's real.  I went through all the emotions. Anger. Destabilization.  Unease.   Disassociation. Bewilderment. Hopelessness. Moments of hope, despair, depression, exasperation, wonder, resignation, repeat. Resetting your life isn't easy. Some days, I gave up and took a nap, hoping tom...

"Divorce is stupid," I thought, as I turned my attention back to the game of billiards I was playing with my son. I observed the man I just met with his girlfriend and her kids at the pool. We were playing pool at the clubhouse, and my son said he knew the man so went and said hi, which led to me meeting him, as well. My thoughts continued with, "You just exchange families and end up raising someone else's kids, while some other man raises yours."  Incidentally, I met this man before, before all the bullying at my son's school. It was orientation. The man knew who I was and introduced himself because he did work for my parents and thought they were great people. (They can be.) Dominic is his name. He is the father of the kid, Ben, who was my son's main bully when school started. To say he was displeased with his son's actions would be an understatement. His son continues to exhibit poor behavior, but it's not usually directed at my son. They say ...

All the lights go down as I crawl into the spaces Fight, flight, or the screams, life tearing at the seams Wait, I don't ever want to be here Like punching in a dream, breathing life into my nightmare If it falls apart I will surely wake it Bright lights turn me green, this is worse than it seems Wait, I don't ever want to be here Like punching in a dream, breathing life into my nightmare They'll get through, they'll get you In the place that you fear it the most In the corner, where it's warmer In the face that you wish was a ghost Wait, I don't ever want to be here Like punching in a dream breathing life into the nightmare *** Punching In A Dream was released in August 2010 by the New Zealand indie band The Naked And Famous on their debut album. It was featured on many platforms, including the show The Vampire Diaries, which I used to watch. The Nina Dobrev/Candice King duo kept me coming back, long after it was clear it was just a soap opera with blood. But t...