my careless contagion

Shawn Mendes' Treat You Better was, at least for a moment, the theme song for my relationship with the woman I fell in love with during my separation. She had told me some things about her husband, and I thought, "I could treat you better." I thought, erroneously, that any man could have treated her better, and, most certainly, I could! It's true, any girl like her deserves a gentleman, but that man is not me. While it may seem I'm walking over the same old ground here, I also feel it's necessary to let things run their course. Bear with me. As she shared more about this complex man, this man whom she loves dearly, I've come to respect him on many levels. And I've changed my mind and now say no one could treat her better than him. He is truly a wonderful husband, father, mentor, coach, and all the other roles he fills. He fits her like a glove, and it's easy to see why she loves him so much. It's time for me to recognize my mistake her...

It's possible to relive your life in your head so many times you forget how things actually happened. It's possible to imagine so many scenarios that fix things you actually start to believe they would have made a difference. You know, we all have that fork-in-the-road moment we look back on. Do we really believe things would have turned out differently if we had gone the other route? Is life really just a choose-your-own-adventure book?  Right now, I'm imagining that I'm actually at that fork in the road, but I can take many different paths this time. I must choose wisely because the rest of my life depends on this moment.  My heart will always choose her. My body is old and tired, sometimes recalcitrant, and in many ways not what it used to be. Not even close. But, I imagine my body will follow my heart. My brain is on board, though it does not understand the unseen hand among us.  As much as my own journey was inevitable, do I believe that yours was a...