Like a comet

If I ever see that girl again, and if we're ever alone, I will fall down on my knees, crumble like no man ever should and hold her ankles tight. I will break before her eyes, and she will see something she's never seen before. She will see the most broken man say the most pitiful things. He'll say he's so sorry, the sorriest he's ever been in his life. He'll say he can't go on any longer, the regret is tearing him apart. He'll say he'll do anything to help her get her life back, just say the word and he'll do it. Please, please, just let me do it. 

I get it now. I see why you had to leave me. I see what it means for you to carry on, and I don't want you to do that. I want you to have what you had, and I know what that means for me. If there's an altar somewhere, I'll sacrifice myself to this cause. If there's a time machine, I'll buy it for us. If there's a way -- any way to undo what I've done -- I'll do it. If I could go back to the day I was born and strangle myself, I would. I can't bear what I've done.

No, I'm unable to change a thing. All I can do is grovel and say I'm sorry. All I can do is wet your feet with my tears and try to get lower than the floor so you can step on me, grind me small, make me pay for my great delusion. 

You were so innocent in my hands, like a big-eyed baby bunny, blinking up at me. And I could have left you like that, but my curiosity knew no bounds. I could have let you stay perfect in my hands; I could have put you back like that. No, I had to walk boldly into your bedroom and tear off the sheets; I had to expose your nakedness without apology. Too many questions were asked, and not a thought was given.

My perfect girl, my innocent one, if there's any way I can give you back your life, I will do it in the blink of an eye and without hesitation. Say the word and I'll climb mountains. Say the word and I'll find the bottom of the sea. Say the word and I'll make my way across every continent to find what you need. And, if you say the word, I will disappear. 

I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner. I was blinded by what I wanted. Now I just want what's best for you. If you need to be free, I will set you free. If you need me to bleed myself dry so you can live, I will. If you need my silence, you have it. If you need 10,000 miles between us, I'll walk every one of those miles. Do you want me to paint your sky at the close of every day? I will. Do you need me to shake your home in the night with thunder and make the rain fall hard as a reminder of my promise? Do you want me to set the stars in order for you, wash away your tears and speak peace to your heart in the quietest moments? I'll burn like a comet in the darkest night for you. I'll burn until I'm gone. Anything and everything is yours if you ask.

My body can't contain the remorse I feel, nor can it contain the love I have for you. I leave sticky footprints of it everywhere I go. It permeates my dreams and wakes me in the night. It shines down on me in the day and creeps through the night. I fear it's eating me alive.

I'm dying to make it right. Just say the word.