It's okay

It's okay to fall to pieces

or to spend so much time

and so much energy

trying to hold yourself together

It's okay to walk away sometimes

and to just be alone

to hide your face from people

and from God himself

It's okay to cry out in the night

to sob uncontrollably

and to wonder

if anyone can hear you

It's okay to let yourself down

because you're trying so hard

not to let those around you down

because someone has to be strong

It's okay to crumble at the end of the day

and wish you weren't here at all

because the pain

sometimes takes your breath away

It's okay to want your bed

because that's the only place

you can think of her

without terror running through you

It's okay to imagine her there

next to you, so quiet

so warm, so tender

before the moment is gone again

It's okay to pick up the pieces

how you see fit, when you see fit

and to realize some of those pieces

may never be found

It's okay to just be —

to sit and stare at the ceiling if you want

to let the dishes pile up

to watch a movie instead of taking a jog

to lick your wounds before more are uncovered

before you have to leave this place

before you're thrust out into another day

It's okay to be raw, to be wrong

to let your feelings die

and to someday feel something new

It's all okay

because today is just today

and tomorrow has challenges

you can't see right now

when it's time to leave here

you will be stronger, calmer

more capable, more at peace

and you will know

that this time was not thrown away

that change is hard

and that you don't have to be hard too.