Cindy

She's seared in my mind like a brilliant sunrise, like the end of the world, like the sadness of leaving and the miracle of birth all in one brief moment. She stood before me in nothing but her black bra and underwear. I couldn't believe the creature that stood before that mirror with me. I stood behind her and told her she was beautiful. She said it was dark. I thought to myself, "Girl, you're not only perfect, but perfect should try to be you." 

Her skin and her warmth are fresh in my memory. And she could lounge in her underwear with me all day, any day, any time, anywhere. My body may burn for her, but it would be worth it. If I couldn't lay a hand on her, I'd make love to her with my eyes and with my words. Maybe she'd melt for me like I melt for her. 

I can't recall feeling such adoration for any woman, real or imagined. How can she cut down all of my childhood fantasies and all of my models of perfection? How can she destroy every love affair, real or imagined? If she only knew the power she holds. If she could only see the churning in my heart and mind, the machinations of this desperate soul that only wants to be near her. Well, she would laugh. She may even feel pity for me. 

She will say I've built her up into something she is not. She'll say I've put her on a pedestal. She could even say that I worship her, idolize her, maybe even have a shrine to her. It's true that my feelings for her have gone beyond my rationale. They've gone beyond all my previous loves. She has shredded all of them with dignity. And she's so damn nice doing it. 

The truth is that I do know her. I've imagined very little. If she's not what I've built her up in my mind, it would be even better for me. She could stand to be a little more accessible and possible. In my heart, she is impossibly beyond all my wildest dreams. If she were to underwhelm me even slightly, it would be an improvement. I wouldn't feel so totally out of her league. I'd welcome her flaws, and I would love her anyway, of course. I hope she'd do the same for me. 

I know she's more than just a sexy woman standing with me in front of that mirror. I've looked into her eyes, and I've seen my future there. I've seen what could have been and what may be. And I've seen the best reflection of me that could possibly be. I only wish I could be what she sees in me.