The story of us

Taylor Swift is a masterful creator of what seems like an endless stream of songs about love, loss, and, quite possibly, her love for Ed Sheeran. In her song The Story of Us, she says, "I don't know what to say since the twist of fate when it all broke down and the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now." If there's something sadder than a tragedy, then I'd agree the lyrics fit you and me.

Your daughter has asked about that boy who wanted to marry you, said you always told her about him. But you don't remember saying that at all. You thought you buried me, left me behind, but I'm right there in front of you, a question mark in your daughter's mind.

Some people can't be buried. I should know. I forgot so many faces, so many names, so many places, so many times. But I could never forget you.

When the clouds were making rain in my basement apartment in McCook, you were making out with another boy. When he wanted more, you said yes. You loved him, after all. He was a vision of manhood, strong, with clear eyes and a "winning smile." He wanted you, and you wanted to be wanted, and that was the end of you and me. But you couldn't forget me.

Three days later you heard my voice on a piece of paper saying, "I want to marry you," wishing we could get out of there together. Oh, but you'd cast your hat into the ring. You'd given your body and your heart away. You would never be mine. But neither of us could forget.

It's worse this time around. There's nothing to dim your face. Nothing to take away your smile or your laugh. I feel your body next to mine. I hear your breathing and can feel your heart. I can taste your mouth, can see you in your underwear, can smell your hair. If you hadn't been so real, I could have convinced myself it was all a dream. 

No, I'll never forget you. There's no use in trying. I may never have you, but I had you for a moment. The story of us may be a tragedy, but I'm not crying. I held the most amazing woman I've ever known in my arms, and I knew in my heart she was mine. At least, for a moment, she was mine. Not all who have amazing things appreciate them. As for me, I knew when I had her for that flicker of time what she was -- a priceless, matchless gem of a woman. When I lost her, I lost the most amazing thing I've ever held in my hands. That's called appreciation. Maybe you didn't know what that felt like before me. I think you know now. 

It's clear to me I'll always love you. It's also clear I can love you and not have you, for that's what I'm doing and what I intend to keep doing. After all, I'd never even know if something happened to you. I'd go on this way just the same, hoping someday you'll call me up and tell me how your day had been, that you'd been thinking about me.

I'm happy. There's something in me today that wasn't there before you came back into my life. What you've touched in me, I don't even know, but it's glowing. It may be just an ember now, but it's alive. I love you like a fool, expecting nothing in return. You may think I'm a sad, tragic character, but I'm the luckiest man alive.