To the future woman in my life

You must be very special because you've found your way into my life. I've prayed that you'd be special; I've prayed that we'd be good for each other in ways we never expected. 

I know your heart is set on God, as is mine. I don't want to walk through life with anyone who isn't looking to the same source, whose heart is not set on Him. A three-fold cord is not easily broken. 

Some things you need to know: there will be times when you see things in me that startle you. There are battle scars and broken bones that have healed askew. My mind has deliberately hidden things from me, things I don't ever need to remember. Sometimes the act of forgetting makes its way to the rest of me, and I'm sorry about that. 

If you look inside me, you'll have to prepare yourself first. There are so many good things I will give to you. There are so many things I have to keep to myself. You'll be angry at me for this sometimes, but it's for the best. I just want to protect you from seeing things you don't need to see, things that God and God alone needs to know. Maybe you have the same things inside you. 

When we share a bed, it will be beautiful. It will be wonderful to hold you, to whisper to you, to look you in the eyes and touch you whenever I want. When we make love, I will only think of you, and you will be the most beautiful woman in the world to me because I love you and no other. Our lovemaking will be special, even though we've been with others before. You will be my last, my one true love, a lover unlike any other. Our connection will transcend our bodies. Our souls will knit. Our spirits will touch, and our lives will mesh. I can't promise you perfection, but I promise I will love you. Sometimes love won't be enough. I'm sorry in advance for those times when we fail each other. Those moments won't last, though, so don't hold it against us if we're not perfect. We're just people trying to make our way through life, sometimes stumbling and sometimes falling.

I can't promise we won't hurt each other, but I will never want to hurt you. I'll do my best to be the man you need, the man God wants me to be. 

If you have something on your mind, if you have a stirring in your heart, if there's something that needs to come to the surface, please say it. I will value your unique viewpoint and will always want to hear what's on your heart, as your heart is near and dear to me. God gave you a special point of view and a mind suited to you. Please share it with me. To do otherwise would be unkind, but I will have to respect those moments when you can't say what's in your heart. There's only one of you in this world, and your words are unique just like you. Your silence is just as unique. 

Life has taught me much patience. I've learned that I don't have to be perfect. I've learned that happiness does not come from me or another person but, rather, from my Father. I've learned that being tough doesn't necessarily make you strong, and sometimes strength is showing others how much you love them. I've learned that love is a tricky thing, but it's always the right path. Those who are the hardest to love are the most in need of it, and they'll never forget how you reached out to them. 

Lastly, I'm a little rough around the edges. I'm like a once-shiny stone that was thrown down a hillside full of jagged rocks. I'm chipped and a little broken, but I'm still strong. I'm not new in the box. I'm worn. I may have fractures. I don't want you to hold me like I'll break. I want you to hold me like you love me, that's all. I have emotions. I've learned that it's okay (much too late in life) to show them. Jesus cried; Jesus groaned; Jesus was moved with compassion. David joyfully danced naked in front of his people. Prophets cried for their country, for their people. None of them were embarrassed. A man who cannot show his emotions is an emotional cripple, only a fraction of a man. 

One more word for you. Never think that you're anything but beautiful to me. You are my beloved. I will love you jealously as Christ does His church. And I will give myself as He did for it.