Somewhere in my car
This song is about fucking in a car. I mean, if you want it to be, it clearly is. The video is almost pornographic. It reeks of sexuality. But, that's not what I heard the first time I heard this song. I heard my heartstrings playing a slightly different tune.
When you miss someone who used to be in your life, you have these really strange moments when you imagine they are with you. You could be in your car. You could be in the shower. You could be cooking dinner, watching tv, getting ready for bed, whatever. It's almost like they're there. It's that ache that tells you they're not there; it's that ache that sends you back to reality with your tail between your legs, and it's that ache that I hear in this song.
After losing the love of my life, I had those moments all the time. I thought I could conjure her. I could almost feel her lips on mine, could almost smell her hair, taste her skin, hear her hot breath on my neck. It wasn't always intimate moments, either. It was mostly everyday moments. It was just sharing a blip of time with a memory of her. It was my heart leaving my body for two minutes, watching it wander around the room and seeing she wasn't there, and then going back to that hollow place in my chest. Every time that would happen, the ache would get bigger and meaner. There's a hunger in missing someone that's hard to describe. If you look away for a minute, it starts to eat you, too.
The lyrics of this song resonate because I'm that guy who's driving home to an empty room night after night. There's so much I wished I'd gotten right I can't even feel bad about it anymore. If I started over here, I'd end up over there, too, and it would never end. I have a limit to how bad I can feel. Letting her go is at the top of that list of regrets, though.
This song is about not wanting to move on. I know I have to "take down all those pictures from my wall." But, sometimes, to keep warm, we need that "gasoline on fire," that memory of someone who tore a hole in you so big it will never close up again. You'd do anything to have her again, even if it meant she shot you through again and you bled out at her feet. You'd let her leave you again if she would just love you again, too, even for a moment.
So, in my mind, she's in my car. She's in my kitchen. In my shower. In my bed. If I have to imagine her like this the rest of my life, does it mean I'll never lose her?
I guess I'll find out.
I'm driving home tonight, catching all red lights
That's alright cause I don't want to be alone
There's nobody waitin' there, cold and empty bed
Words I wished I'd said come on the radio
That's alright cause I don't want to be alone
There's nobody waitin' there, cold and empty bed
Words I wished I'd said come on the radio
Ooh, oh, oh, and I don't know why I do this to myself
Ooh, oh, oh, I know you're with someone else
Ooh, oh, oh, I know you're with someone else
But in my mind were somewhere in my car
And it's raining hard on the streetlight glow
You got your lips on mine, it's gasoline on fire
I never will forget, you grabbed my shirt and pulled it over my head
And your fingertips slide up and down my back
Breathin' hard, steamin' up the glass
I'd give anything if I could bring you back home
And it's raining hard on the streetlight glow
You got your lips on mine, it's gasoline on fire
I never will forget, you grabbed my shirt and pulled it over my head
And your fingertips slide up and down my back
Breathin' hard, steamin' up the glass
I'd give anything if I could bring you back home
So, I've been sleeping til noon in the same bedroom
Where I once held you and it's breaking my heart
I should take down all those pictures from my wall
Promises we made won't fill this empty space
Where I once held you and it's breaking my heart
I should take down all those pictures from my wall
Promises we made won't fill this empty space
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