The appeal of international dating

Some Ukrainian girl.

I'm a cliche. I'm the American man who got divorced from his American wife and the thought of international dating has crept into the dim corners of my mind. I'm not into Asian girls. I can see the appeal. It's just not for me. I am thinking more about Russian and Ukrainian girls. Maybe Belarusian. Maybe Moldovian. 

There are a lot of reasons why this makes sense to me. Slavic girls come from a traditional patriarchal culture. While such things are under fire in this country, I can see the value of being with a woman with traditional values. First of all, they won't fuck around on you. They value and protect their families at all costs. Cheating, then, would not be protecting their families. That's not to say they're only homemakers. They actually chafe at the thought of not being able to support their family financially. So, after the children are able to attend school, they most likely will seek employment if they haven't already. 

They take care of themselves. In Ukraine, for example, there are more women than there are men. So the competition is fierce. The men who do exist, however, are known for being alcoholics, cheaters, mama's boys, lazy, etc. They are not, as Slavic women say, "real men" who take care of their families and their women, working hard and enjoying the fruits of their labor. Unfortunately, this is a cultural problem that does not appear to have an end in sight. So, instead of settling for being a man's mistress or for an alcoholic who sits at home all day and drinks with his friends, these beautiful, vibrant, hardworking women have chosen to look for love abroad.

Another strange thing about their culture is the age gap between men and women who marry. It's not unusual for a man to be 15 years older or more than his wife. Many women look for this kind of situation, as the young men in their culture are unproven and irresponsible. While it's something our culture looks down upon, it's not unusual or scary in their culture to have a large age difference for men and women in relationships. The only problem with this is that they would be exporting their values to a new culture, which could cause some headaches for new couples.

One of the warnings I've read about Slavic women is to stay away from the women in large cities, especially the younger women, as they are like American women. So, the idea is to look for a woman in her 30s (with or without a child) who grew up in a rural area or smaller city. A girl from a big city may lack the traditional values that are so important. There are a million models (I'm not even kidding), for instance, in the big cities. They look really good. They're great. They're skinny. Long legs. Portfolios. And, most likely, they're just like American women. Unless you want an American woman who speaks with an accent, pass on that. Again, I can see the appeal.

I've always wondered what it would be like to have a daughter. Hopefully she would be the kind of creature who loves hugs and cuddling. My son seems to dislike hugs. I've gotten him to like them enough to allow me to hug him when I want (usually), but it can still be like pulling teeth. If I can find a woman with a daughter, maybe I can get my cuddles. Or, maybe a woman who wants to start a family would be a good choice. I don't know how many more late night/early morning baby moments I can take at this stage of my life, but it's nice to think about little ones running around the house again.

Although there is something appealing in completely starting over, I'd be loving a woman other than the one I'm with -- a woman I can't have. This is the most unfair thing I could do to another woman and to myself. I'd rather live alone than bring another woman into this error. There's only one woman I want, and if I can't have her, then I guess I'll have to wait until I don't feel that love anymore. I realize I may have to wait the rest of my life.

If there's only one girl for me, why bother looking anywhere else? I know even though I may not have another shot with her, I will still love her. The love I have for her makes it impossible to be with another woman. She's taken up all of my heart. My chest is swollen with her. My mind is crammed full of her. How on earth could I ever consider even TRYING to move on? True, too: how could I spend time with another woman and give her what she deserves? 

Other women: nice to think about but impossible in practice. Actually, not even that nice to think about. Not compared to her.

She wins again. She always wins.