my careless contagion

Father and son package. Inseparable. Neither are anywhere near perfect, but they love each other a lot. Could you make these guys a part of your life? Could you take my hand and teach me — and my son — how a real woman loves and cares for those she loves? Do you have a big heart and beautiful soul? My name is Joshua. That's my son, Isaiah. That picture was taken this summer at the end of a long day of playing. We were both sweaty and tired, and one of us was way past his bedtime (you can see it on his face). My son is almost 6 years old. He's all I have in this world besides God. I'd like to share my life with a nice girl. Are you a nice girl?  First, my son. He's hyper. He's sensitive, too. He's a bit overwhelming. He's loud. He's fun. He's also super bright, but I'm pretty sure he has a learning disability. He may also be on the spectrum. I'm not sure. He is often overstimulated by ordinary things. Someday, someone will tell me what ...

Her lips moved against mine. I was vaguely aware she was saying something, then her body moved away from mine. An ache moved through me as her fingers trailed down my arm and across my hand and finally my fingertips. She stood next to me for a moment and then she was gone. That was my dream. It wasn't an erotic dream. Just a dream. What remained after the dream was the sense of feeling worthwhile. I've gone for so long thinking I have no worth. It seems inconceivable for a woman to touch me. If a dream can arouse such feelings in me, then it's clear I was getting a lot of my self-worth from being physical with a woman. Or from any physical touch, for that matter. I wouldn't normally write about a dream like this, but it reminded me of something. In any relationship, it's important to understand love languages. My primary love language is physical touch. I'm one of the easiest to please. I didn't always know about love languages. A dear friend expla...

Some Ukrainian girl. I'm a cliche. I'm the American man who got divorced from his American wife and the thought of international dating has crept into the dim corners of my mind. I'm not into Asian girls. I can see the appeal. It's just not for me. I am thinking more about Russian and Ukrainian girls. Maybe Belarusian. Maybe Moldovian.  There are a lot of reasons why this makes sense to me. Slavic girls come from a traditional patriarchal culture. While such things are under fire in this country, I can see the value of being with a woman with traditional values. First of all, they won't fuck around on you. They value and protect their families at all costs. Cheating, then, would not be protecting their families. That's not to say they're only homemakers. They actually chafe at the thought of not being able to support their family financially. So, after the children are able to attend school, they most likely will seek employment if they haven't a...

    I grew up in small towns. I still live in a small town. In a small town, when a pretty young thing smiles at you and says hi, it doesn't mean anything. You just say hi back and go on with your day. You know it's just the way things are in a small town. If I was anyone else, they'd say hi just the same. This could be a clue as to why I was always pretty dense about girls and women (yes, some Mrs. Robinsons) who were into me. There are different levels of affection, of course, but I didn't want to explore them too deeply. Some girls wanted one thing, and some probably didn't even know they were giving off signals (I think they call those micro-expressions). The ones, however, who wouldn't take no for an answer were clearly not just saying hi. When I was in grade school, there were always crushes. It was one girl or another. And some of these girls meant business. They'd chase me until I couldn't breathe anymore on the playground, then th...