Delicate

Yeah, Taylor Swift does it again. I've been listening to this song for a while now. It's a little endearing seeing Taylor not smile. In fact, the whole song is endearing. I understand the delicate feeling she's talking about. I'm sure I'm putting my own meaning into it. That's okay. That's what I do.

There is a tired feeling to this song. Tired of relationships not working. Tired of being alone. I don't know. I'm staring down the other side of the hill and I feel like I'm picking up speed. On my tombstone, it will say, "He was okay. Also, he was really tired." 

My reputation is crap. I tried to do the right thing during my separation and divorce. I didn't want to regret anything. I didn't pay attention to the public side of my divorce because I figured it wasn't anyone's business. That's where I lost. It figures that not only was I traumatized by my relationship, but traumatized by what I had to accomplish during my divorce, and then further traumatized by public perception of my divorce. This is a pretty good reason to leave a town.

My parents spend more time with my ex than they do me. They invite her to every family event and more, lots I don't even know about until afterward. I don't know how many disgraced, divorced ex-daughters-in-law are invited to everything by her ex-in-laws. Clearly, they chose sides. Just in case I  hadn't had enough trauma, there's no fucking way I can avoid this woman. Another good reason to leave town. I don't want to be a complainer, but what the fuck. It's good to know who your friends are, I guess. 

Apparently fucking me over gets you invited to everything at my parents' house. It's hard not to be a little angry about this. I will say this: if my parents do not accept the next woman I'm with (if that ever becomes possible in the distant future), they don't deserve to be in my life. Or maybe they already made that choice. Maybe they replaced me with my ex. Maybe I should just go find a new family. It's safe to say I don't get along with my parents, huh? 

I know this song is about starting over or starting a new relationship. There's a point where everything is delicate. You want to get into the clear, or "out of the woods," as Taylor says in another song. I understand that feeling. It's like dancing with a new dance partner. You're just not in sync yet. Well, if I was dancing, I would never be in sync, but you know what I mean.

This is a low-key song with a subtle feeling it wants to convey. It's a pop song, of course, but it has layered meaning. Taylor Swift wins again. Things may not be "for the best" for me right now. And my reputation has been better, for sure. But at least I can enjoy a good pop song and nod along, like, "Yeah, I hear that." Here's to new beginnings. Somewhere else. 

Lyrics:

This ain't for the best
My reputation's never been worse, so
You must like me for me
We can't make
Any promises now, can we, babe?
But you can make me a drink

Dive bar on the East Side, where you at?
Phone lights up my nightstand in the black
Come here, you can meet me in the back
Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you
Oh damn, never seen that color blue
Just think of the fun things we could do
'Cause I like you

This ain't for the best
My reputation's never been worse, so
You must like me for me
Yeah, I want you
We can't make
Any promises now, can we, babe?
But you can make me a drink

Is it cool that I said all that?
Is it chill that you're in my head?
'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)
Is it cool that I said all that
Is it too soon to do this yet?
'Cause I know that it's delicate
Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?
Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?
Delicate

Third floor on the West Side, me and you
Handsome, your mansion with a view
Do the girls back home touch you like I do?
Long night, with your hands up in my hair
Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs
Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share
'Cause I like you