my careless contagion

**** I initially posted this last week, but I felt I misrepresented myself by doing so which made me rethink it. I'm reposting it with an explanation. I do not have any ill-will toward my ex. I cared for her deeply for many years. I wish her the best in this world and in the hereafter. She is truly an amazing human being, though she proved she is not for me. This post is meant to highlight the rift that has grown between us and how my feelings about her have changed. It's not meant to slander her or make fun of her, though I did have fun with this post. Thank you for reading. **** Today I did what I've been wanting to do for a long time. I've had them in my head. I didn't know when or how to let them out.  Yes, I made an ex joke, something along the lines of, "That's what she said." There are a million ex jokes I can make, but it usually falls to someone else to say something first. Sadly, I cannot make these jokes at work since I work with my ...

Yeah, Taylor Swift does it again. I've been listening to this song for a while now. It's a little endearing seeing Taylor not smile. In fact, the whole song is endearing. I understand the delicate feeling she's talking about. I'm sure I'm putting my own meaning into it. That's okay. That's what I do. There is a tired feeling to this song. Tired of relationships not working. Tired of being alone. I don't know. I'm staring down the other side of the hill and I feel like I'm picking up speed. On my tombstone, it will say, "He was okay. Also, he was really tired."  My reputation is crap. I tried to do the right thing during my separation and divorce. I didn't want to regret anything. I didn't pay attention to the public side of my divorce because I figured it wasn't anyone's business. That's where I lost. It figures that not only was I traumatized by my relationship, but traumatized by what I had to accomplish ...