Good riddance


I give up. She wins. My ex wins the prize, whatever it might be, for being such a fantastic person in the face of adversity. 

Boy, she's really something else. She shines with an angelic light. She can do no wrong. What a beautiful, wonderful person. 

That man she was married to, well, let's just say she's better off now. He was sad, petulant, angry, and morose. Tired and upset all the time. What on earth did she see in him? I wish her the best of luck without him. 

Oh, that little precious boy, though. He wants to see his dad. I wonder what he sees in that sad old man. I guess boys love their fathers. But his dad doesn't want to see him. He moved away. How that must break his little heart. 

His mother remains so strong through so much adversity. She doesn't even want to talk about the pain in her marriage, bless her heart. She's going to make some man really happy someday once she's done mourning the loss of the dour one. He must have done something really bad for her to divorce him. Single mothers have so many burdens to bear. What a saint she is. 

Yes, I've lost the battle of public perception. My processes were mostly hidden. My prayers were to my God. My answers were personal. My struggle was painful. In the end, and for a thousand reasons, I made the very difficult decision to walk away from my broken relationship. What was a very personal and painful decision has, I'm sure, been dissected by everyone who got a whiff of it. I can't help what goes on in others' brains. But, it's clear I've lost and she's won. Just another indignity she's heaped upon me. 

How can a woman who hurled such pain and hate at my heart walk away a victim from this? Oh, she was masterful at flipping from victimizer to victim. It's good to see she hasn't lost her touch. She's so wounded. Feel sorry for her. 

I don't have much in this world. I'm not rich. I'm not the smartest man I know. I don't have a good heritage. I don't have land or much prospect for a decent life. But, one thing I do have is my integrity. She will never take that away from me. It may be only me and my God who know the truth, but that is enough. The world wallows in lies every single day. Today is no different. And tomorrow looks to be the same. 

Well, I don't feel sorry for her. I won't stand in line to congratulate her great strength of character. I won't take part in her pity party. I'll wish her the best of luck. And I'll continue to sever every tie I have with her. I know she'll use my son against me because she's classy like that. If she does, I'll turn her over to God and let Him deal with her. I've washed my hands of her. I've walked away. Good riddance. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Naked and Famous - Young Blood

Image
Maybe you were curious what happened to the guy who had his heart destroyed. Maybe you thought he was a pussy for crashing out over the biggest disappointment of his life. Maybe you never knew the backstory. Wandering through Gatsby’s abandoned mansion, you wondered what transpired. Maybe you just stumbled in. In any case, you’re here. [Could have split into two posts. To save space, I refer to my ex-wife as K and the woman I fell in love with after divorce as C.] There’s a scene in the movie Drive where a bad guy calmly slits a man’s wrist (the right way — the long way) and tells him to sit down, be calm, because, “It’s done, it’s over, there’s no pain.” That’s how I imagined C ending things. I held out my hand for a friendly goodbye handshake, and she slit my wrist cooly, as if it was her duty. But, it wasn’t over, and there was pain. I sat down, bleeding. I’m still here, and it still hurts.   I hate when people experience a small disruption and attach to it spiritual significanc...
Read more

A farewell to sex

Image
Living the life of a divorced man was something I never foresaw. Actually, being married was something I didn't foresee, as well. At this point in my life, I think I've been wandering around like a blind man most of the time. Nothing else can explain my utter cluelessness about everything.  When you get a divorce, you lose many things. Mostly, you lose the security of what you had. You lose money and things and people you thought would always be there. Men especially seem to be clueless about how to move on. Our male friendships don't support us through things like this. And, if you're a loner like me, you don't have that option anyway.  Above everything else, I miss sex. There are all kinds of sex that people can have. I just miss sex. Any kind. I'm a one woman kind of man, and I've only been with one woman. So, going out and having sex with some stranger won't work for me. I'm not built that way. The only option I have is to simply m...
Read more

She found me

Image
She found me lost and alone wavering like a metronome born into a hateful world she swallowed me in her arms and I was never the same One woman can change a man  one love, one touch, and one forever if you don't believe me just look at me now She loves me at my worst lifts me up when I feel done grants me access to a new world where I don't have to be perfect She's knows I'm just a man but treats me like I'm better, made of something swift and strong and forever young She also sees the scars etched deeply in my flesh I stand naked before her but she never judges What I am is changed her love changed me rearranged me put me back together better even made me look at myself and not hate what I saw Now I see why God gave woman to man what a blessing, what peace what a stunning realization so different from what I've always known And so I love her, too,  the same as she loves me with everything I have until my last breath what a beautiful woman to make such an ugly m...
Read more