Consequences

Consequences by Camila Cabello highlights some thoughts with which I'm familiar. It showcases Cabello's voice, as well, because the instrumentation stays mostly in the background. This is a sentimental ballad lamenting the consequences, good and bad, of a relationship that has come and gone. 

Not all the lyrics fit how I feel about the girl I lost. I don't think what happened between us was "dumb, dark, and cheap," however, it definitely had consequences. Actually, the consequences are staggering. I've had a frame-of-mind change that I can't even equate with anything else. As time and a long, hard retrospective look have informed me, the consequences for me are a strong parallel to the birth of my son and other beautiful things I've seen. Speaking only for myself, I would never want to undo it.

Someone once said that you have to accept the fact that things will never go back to the way they were. Such is life. Some things are undoable. Can a baby be unborn? So goes my feelings about Cindy and the beautiful time we were in love. I can never go back to my previous dimensions. My mind has stretched to accommodate the thoughts of us — possibilities without end — and what life might look like if I don't have to say goodbye to her. My heart has grown to encompass this new world; like a mushroom, it grew overnight but has stayed valiant, increasing in fervor like a fever that never broke. In short, she has irrevocably changed me, and I don't want to go back.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened," someone wise once said. Still, gravity prevails. Life must be lived. I must see my son's face again many times, as my job of raising him seems a neverending task. Paying the bills and making meals I don't feel like eating, neglecting to clean my little home, putting gas in my car, thinking about how I can make tomorrow less like today, listening to the ceiling creak and the neighbors cough and wondering about the stock market — this is life. While much of life's details remain just that, my heart thumps louder in my chest when I think of her. I can feel my heart smiling — just one of those beautiful consequences.