My new eyes

I have new eyes. That's how it feels, at least.

On October 4, I had iLasik surgery on both eyes at the Black Hills Regional Eye Institute. I have not experienced such clarity of vision since ... I don't know; it feels like forever. I remember when I got glasses at the age of 12 and walked out of the eye clinic and onto the town square. I looked up at the trees in the square, and I could see every leaf. It was like having an epiphany. It was like a curtain going up and seeing as far as I wanted. For the next almost 30 years, I depended on those glasses (and sometimes contacts). My vision without glasses was terrible, though; even reading a book in bed without them was nearly impossible. I could see clearly a few inches from my face and then everything dropped off beyond that. I was as blind as a freakin' bat. 

After I sold my house and split the money with my ex-wife, I had a decent amount of cash laying around. Some of it I stashed away for an eventual move from this place, but the rest was looking at me like, "What next, bro?" After confirming that I was indeed a candidate for this type of surgery, I made my appointment. 

The day of surgery they pamper you a bit with cookies and a plush waiting room. Then you sit in a massaging chair to further relax you. The actual surgery takes mere minutes, but it is not relaxing. A suction device comes down on one eye, pulls up on the epithelial layer (surface) of your eye, then a laser creates a flap in that layer and the flap is peeled back. That's the most traumatic part of the surgery. Another laser reshapes the cornea (some say they can smell a burning at this point) to a precise predetermined depth (both eyes were mapped at a previous appointment). If the eye moves or interrupts the laser in some way, it will stop within milliseconds and restart when it is able. This takes about 15 seconds. Then the flap is put back in place, lots of eyedrops are added, and the patient is pretty much on their way. 

Hunting this year was a different experience, as I could see better than I could with glasses.

On my way out, one of the nice girls who worked there said, "Take lots of Tylenol. Tylenol is your friend. Go home and lay down. Don't try to do anything." Holy shit, she was right. Tylenol was indeed my friend. I took several Tylenol PMs and took a nap, woke up, had some food and Tylenol and then went back to bed. My eyes were streaming down tears. My left eye felt especially traumatized. But the worst was over. The next day was my first follow-up appointment, an appointment I drove away from by myself without glasses. Ever since then it has felt like I've been living in a dream. 

I've had three of my six follow-up appointments for the year after surgery, and I have to make annual appointments from here on out. Common side effects are halos while driving at night, and I have to wear sunglasses for at least the first year when I'm outside. Those are things I can deal with.

It's a huge life change. I don't know how to describe it. It's up there with the birth of my son and falling in love. Since my surgery, my eyes have continued to heal and my vision has improved. They're both better than perfect vision, which is astounding. Because I had my surgery after the age of 40, chances are high I will need reading glasses someday, which I'm fine with. 

Why did I do this? After the year I've had, I needed something big, something positive to help me start a new life. Sure, it seems selfish to take that money and use it for myself, but I've never done anything like this. Call it a late birthday present. Call it a reboot, a headspace adjustment, an external indicator of what I feel on the inside, whatever. I think it's awesome. After being blind for most of my life, it feels like the right time to get new eyes. Now, if I could only see into the future ...