Break up in a small town


This song and video have interesting features for a country song. Country music can be faulted for hewing too closely to traditional forms. Break up in a Small Town seeks to shake things up a bit with the way the video is edited and the storytelling that segues into song. Still, it's another lost-love country song. 

 When I divorced my ex-wife, my divorce took place in a small town (about 2,000) where we both lived. To compound that, my ex is also close to my parents (mostly because we work for them). Her desk is right in front of mine at work. I have to work closely with her on projects. While this is not a problem in my day-to-day life, as I respect her and have a friendship with her, if I imagine a future for myself it is clear I have to move on. And that moving on will entail an actual move, as the song suggests. 

 No one tells you how mutual friends or mutual acquaintances will treat you after you get a divorce. It's a strange feeling. You almost leave your body and watch from the side during those interactions. Those moments are all too real and awkward (I hate that word, but it's appropriate in this case). The only real solution seems to be to start over. Somewhere else. 

 I can understand the sentiment of the video with the burning of possessions, homes, cars. I can see myself running away from the whole town just like Hunt does through the video (a music-video cliche). Even if those thoughts never leave my mind. 

 It's the same old story that has played out a million times before. What do you do after you break something and everyone sees and everyone knows? How do you comport yourself? How do you move on? Perhaps this is why I moved 45 minutes away from that town. Maybe this is why I spend extra time in bed each morning, unsure I want to even begin my day. Maybe this is why I talk to the ceiling and stare at the blank walls and sit here pounding on my keyboard, staring at the grass that "won't pay no mind." I'm struggling, trying to imagine how I can do anything but move from this place. 

 I know the struggles I've been through in my life have prepared me for this moment and for the decisions I've yet to make. I know I have a strength that is borne out of much turmoil and pain. I have seen the effect of infidelity, of an abusive relationship, of unimaginable nights of despair, nights I begged to hurry up and disappear as I waited for the light to rise and erase my thoughts with it. I have choked on the poison of loving someone who didn't care a whit about me. I have seen the end of many things. I have endured the end of two relationships at the same time. And I lived. 

 Most of all, I know when I move from here, I will take my biggest problem with me. No, it will not be the end of this thing following me around. It will just be another chapter. But that won't stop me from moving on. 

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