Begin again


Okay, I may as well just call this blog "Let's talk about Taylor Swift songs." Begin Again comes from the Red album (2012). It contains a kernel of hope for me. She also talks about James Taylor, her namesake, which is fun.

 The song feels rustic, but also like it could be taking place anywhere. The video (or at least parts of it) was shot in Paris. But it could be about anyone anywhere in the world. It could be about me. 

 She talks about how her former lover didn't get so many things about her. She compares it to her new man's understanding of her. When she says, "I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end," I get it, but I think "eight months" should be more like "my whole fucking life." Maybe her version is better, though. 

 I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic. I love hard. I feel too much, perhaps. I have the old sentimental feeling that love should be given freely and without reserve as much as you are able. I've rethought that, of course, like maybe I shouldn't love so hard. Love makes you look like an idiot, like John Cusack with his boombox in the movie Say Anything. 

People don't understand what loving like I do means. They think you're crazy. They think you're creepy. They think you're pathetic. They think you're downright strange. But love is a gift, and it begs to be given. I know it's not healthy to love like I do, and that's why I've had to rethink it. I know the next time I love will look different. There is a sadness in that, but people like me have to either write a novel about the girl or change how we love. 

It seems strange to think of beginning again because my love for her has not ended. Still, I know it's only healthy to think of beginning again. So, I'll think about it. But I won't imagine anyone else's face. I won't recite anyone else's name. I won't borrow inspiration from any other girl. 

 I don't know how far away I am from beginning again. It seems like an awfully long way off. But it sure is a nice thought. As long as I can begin again with her.

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