More than enough

She lay beneath me on the bed as she said those words — "I'm never going to be enough for you, am I?"

The smile on my face disappeared, and my eyes blinked and then closed. The words slowly started to rally in me, then came out in a measured cadence. I started with, "No, you're never going to be enough for me."

I said that because, at the end of each day, no one is ever enough for any of us. We are needy creatures created with a hole in us that needs something greater than any human being who has ever lived, no matter how amazing. We are created with a hole that needs God. So, no, my beautiful, you're never going to be enough for me because of that hole.

"But life is amazing, and so are you. You add beauty to each and every one of my days. Just knowing I get to come home to you makes my insides warm, even on the coldest day. You make me want to experience every day with you the rest of my days because I treasure you, because I love you, because I enjoy you. Knowing you has given me strength I never thought possible. Holding you like this is something I never thought I'd have, and I'll never take that for granted. You have added so much to my life, I can't even thank you enough. Words are weak and all I can do is smile to myself and try to remember to enjoy every moment with you."

My eyes opened again, and you were still not convinced. I didn't tell you the words you wanted to hear, yet I kept talking. 

"Because I have God in the right place in my life, you don't have to worry about being enough. I won't rely on you to be enough to keep me happy, to keep me coming home to you, to keep getting up in the morning. That's too much responsibility for any person. Trying to be enough just for ourselves is often too much to ask. How can we ask that of our mate? Because my God is enough, you don't have to worry about being enough for me. He has filled my cup to overflowing, and you simply add to my overabundance. In that way, you are more than enough. You've added to what He's already done, and you make my life rich in ways only God could have imagined." 

Now I could see on your face that you understood. The man who you had in your life since you were 18 years old made you feel like you were never enough for him. And you weren't. You weren't because he didn't have God in the right place in his heart. You were never enough for him because you weren't meant to fill those places only God can fill.

While you were trying to be enough for him, it took you down some dark and slippery places, places your head and heart weren't meant to go as a married woman. You shouldn't have had to wonder what you wondered. You shouldn't have had to think those thoughts you thought. Most of all, you shouldn't have placed that burden you placed on your own shoulders. Because, my dear, you are more than enough when the man you love loves God and God fills his God-shaped hole. And you are perfect for that man, undeniably. 

While it may have been only a dream in which I spoke these words to you, I know your heart still wonders these things. If you were not enough for one man, after all, how could you begin to imagine being enough for another? You should know that this man loves you on top of the love he already has for God, a love that has sustained him through the darkest and scariest of nights, through years of leanness and heartache. You won't ever have to wonder if God is in my life because He never left. You won't have to wonder if God is enough for me because you already know the answer. You didn't see me through all the storms I've been through, but you didn't have to. He was there. While your heart may want to see me through many dark moments, I want you to know you don't have to do that for me. He will. 

My eyes closed again as tears of relief welled in your eyes. I held your heart close to mine again, laughing this time, and said, "You won't ever have to wonder if you're enough for me. You'll always be more than enough."