my careless contagion

  A Place in the Sun. Just the name evokes pleasant images and good feelings. Stevie Wonder is a literal musical genius and Motown legend. I don't even know where to begin. He was such an important  — and positive — influence on my childhood. Considering how awful my father was, maybe I saw Stevie as a kind of father figure. I get good feelings just hearing the opening of one of his hits and am instantly transported to a time and place I can no longer go in the flesh but which remains with me in memory. Sounds can trigger memories, much as smells or tastes do. A Place in the Sun was released in 1966 (He was 16), more than 10 years before I was born. But I love this song even today, much as I do many of Stevie's songs.  Let's look at the lyrics.  Like a long, lonely stream I keep runnin' towards a dream Movin' on, movin' on Like a branch on a tree I keep reachin' to be free Movin' on, movin' on 'Cause there's a place in the sun Where there...

Sorry I haven't written much lately. I've been doing hot-girl shit. What is hot-girl shit? I'm glad you asked. Because I also have no idea. I think it might be how someone takes care of a horse: they comb the hair and bathe it, paying special attention to the hooves (nails?) and teeth . Maybe hot girls are like horses because horses don't do jack all day but stand around and look pretty and maybe make faces at other horses. Yeah, I'm definitely not doing that. What are dumb old donkeys doing? Trudging up a mountain with a heavy pack on their back while someone kicks them for being slow and careful and trying not to fall off the edge? I'm probably doing that. Anyway. I wrote some stuff. It may or may not be important. Okay, it isn't. It may or may not be jocular. It may or may not be an exaggeration. And I may or may not care what you think either way. Expect another post in a day or two. Or not. Whatever.  *** Sometimes we are confronted by uncomfortable tru...

She lay beneath me on the bed as she said those words — "I'm never going to be enough for you, am I?" The smile on my face disappeared, and my eyes blinked and then closed. The words slowly started to rally in me, then came out in a measured cadence. I started with, "No, you're never going to be enough for me." I said that because, at the end of each day, no one is ever enough for any of us. We are needy creatures created with a hole in us that needs something greater than any human being who has ever lived, no matter how amazing. We are created with a hole that needs God. So, no, my beautiful, you're never going to be enough for me because of that hole. "But life is amazing, and so are you. You add beauty to each and every one of my days. Just knowing I get to come home to you makes my insides warm, even on the coldest day. You make me want to experience every day with you the rest of my days because I treasure you, because I love you, bec...

She's Out of My League is a comedy released in 2010. You can tell by the flip-phones. I've seen this movie before but watched it again because I needed a laugh. I didn't expect to see themes from my life portrayed before me so plainly.  Jay Baruchel plays Kirk, a good guy extraordinaire, a dorky guy with low self-esteem. Alice Eve plays the hot girl, a perfect ten who got out of a relationship with a very manly, perfect kind of guy (nicknamed "Foot Long") who was cheating on her. What makes the movie work is that you like both the main characters. And, they are relatable. We've all been in or contemplated a relationship with someone "out of our league."  The woman I'm in love with I've always had this opinion about: She's always been too good for me. As long as I've known her — stretching back to the fourth grade — I've felt this way about her. In grade school, I used to tease her just to see if I could bring her ...

Her lips moved against mine. I was vaguely aware she was saying something, then her body moved away from mine. An ache moved through me as her fingers trailed down my arm and across my hand and finally my fingertips. She stood next to me for a moment and then she was gone. That was my dream. It wasn't an erotic dream. Just a dream. What remained after the dream was the sense of feeling worthwhile. I've gone for so long thinking I have no worth. It seems inconceivable for a woman to touch me. If a dream can arouse such feelings in me, then it's clear I was getting a lot of my self-worth from being physical with a woman. Or from any physical touch, for that matter. I wouldn't normally write about a dream like this, but it reminded me of something. In any relationship, it's important to understand love languages. My primary love language is physical touch. I'm one of the easiest to please. I didn't always know about love languages. A dear friend expla...