33 hours

This article. I read this at work and wanted to bawl. Go ahead and read it. It's about an old, married couple who died 33 hours apart. When you've been married 68 years and grew up together, being without that person feels like dying anyway. So when they leave for good, you follow them too. This story really touched me, so I'm sharing it.

They were one person. I think that's rare in this world, at least it is now. Everyone has their own agenda now. Theirs is the kind of relationship I wanted, and now I'm staring at a future that is very lonely. Staying with one person — that one person who makes you feel alive and complete and happy your whole life — that's what I wanted. Yes, I know there are hard times, you don't have to tell me that, but how you feel about that person doesn't change. That's special.

I feel my life has been incredibly unfair and unkind. I try not to complain, but, still, it's there in front of me. And, on top of that, I made a lot of bad decisions. I pushed my relationship as far as I could, but it was being pulled apart at the same time. Having my goodwill and hard work undone as I was doing it was incredibly humbling (humiliating, really). In the end, there was nothing to save. It was undermined right out from under me, taken right out of my hands by hands unseen. They say a man should not put asunder what God has joined, but I think sometimes God puts an end to things, especially when people are suffering. I may be alone in that thought, but I believe God saw my suffering and put an end to it, for which I am thankful. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it doesn't matter now. Maybe all that matters is life is sad but it's over soon, so don't worry about it too much. Someday, you won't remember any of this pain anyway.

Cindy taught me so much about love and what it should look like. I constantly go back to that. That's what I want. That's what I needed all those years. Sadly, there were forces tearing away her marriage, as well. I think respect is what's missing these days. These old-timers had respect for each other. This love story of these people, it's astonishing. It goes back to their childhoods. They CHOSE each other every day their whole lives. They did that before they got married and all the years after they got married. That's how it worked. My ex stopped choosing me. She chose other people. Cindy's ex did the same. 

When your partner stops choosing you, your love story has ended. You may still choose them, but they aren't choosing you. (In reality, they're choosing themselves — not really another person who is not you — and their wants and putting their desires ahead of yours) It has to be a mutual thing. That's what I want. Without that mutual choice, it's just a legally-binding contract and nothing more. Great love stories are made up of that simple choice we make every day, but the person we choose chooses us too. When my ex was in love with another man, I told her love is just a choice. That's it. It's very simple. You just choose to come home to that person every day. If either one of you stops doing that, your love story is over. These people in this story, they (as far as I know, and I'd like to have my illusions, thank you very much) never stopped choosing each other.

No, it's too late for me to have my love story like these people. But I can have something. Someday. God willing. There are a lot of women in this world. Maybe God is saving one for me (I  hope He lets me choose, cus I know which one I want), and we'll have our epic love story. Just not as long as these folks, God bless them. 

Thanks for reading. And God bless you.