You, me, and the sea


You, me, and the sea. I feel you there at the shore, like you are waves lapping at the sand, sometimes quietly, other times more insistent. There is a power in you, drawing me back, making me stay, causing me to sit and stare out over you. Imagining you. Conjuring you. Your colors are emeralds and blues of various hues, and a depth that recedes into the darkest water. I like to meet you in the newness of morning. When I walk up to your edge, your warm waters welcome, then dare me to step in further. I comply until I am in over my head and you are salty on my lips, dripping off my eyelids and running down my face. Submerged in you, I smile at the sky. 

I met you in the year that was my worst. There was a golden quality to you, like the sparkle in a child's eyes undimmed by the world. It was kind of like looking at the sun. I had to close my eyes. Life intrudes, but I was drawn back to your shore. The air is different with you. The sky is bigger. The light brighter. The wind whispers there. The waves pull you in. Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine you next to me, your hair touched by the same wind, the same salt clinging to your skin, the same sand between your toes. 


Here, with you, I forget all that came before. It drifts away like the clouds in the sky. The good, the bad, the in-between. All I see now is you. All I hear are your words. You force me to read between your lines, though I want to hear it out loud. That you are here with me says what we both know. So many words passed between us, each letter like the sand beneath us, each line like the seagulls overhead. Each beginning so welcome. Each ending so dreaded. Our time is finite. Our breaths numbered. Our days beautiful but short. It's no wonder I look forward to meeting you here, where broken shells litter the sand, like whatever it was that came before you. 

I can hear your soft and sweet voice, can see your lips move over your thoughts, your smile burning this moment in my mind forever. Every day, there is somewhere to be, some deadline to beat, some new thing, and even more old things pulling us along toward who knows what. We are racing somewhere, always racing. And it becomes clear this is the moment we are racing toward. This is where I want to be, and no other. Whether we have something to say or whether we listen to the sea, I want you to know: I want this — today, tomorrow, forever — with you. Just you, me, and the sea. 

Thank you for reading. And God bless.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Naked and Famous - Young Blood

Image
Maybe you were curious what happened to the guy who had his heart destroyed. Maybe you thought he was a pussy for crashing out over the biggest disappointment of his life. Maybe you never knew the backstory. Wandering through Gatsby’s abandoned mansion, you wondered what transpired. Maybe you just stumbled in. In any case, you’re here. [Could have split into two posts. To save space, I refer to my ex-wife as K and the woman I fell in love with after divorce as C.] There’s a scene in the movie Drive where a bad guy calmly slits a man’s wrist (the right way — the long way) and tells him to sit down, be calm, because, “It’s done, it’s over, there’s no pain.” That’s how I imagined C ending things. I held out my hand for a friendly goodbye handshake, and she slit my wrist cooly, as if it was her duty. But, it wasn’t over, and there was pain. I sat down, bleeding. I’m still here, and it still hurts.   I hate when people experience a small disruption and attach to it spiritual significanc...
Read more

A farewell to sex

Image
Living the life of a divorced man was something I never foresaw. Actually, being married was something I didn't foresee, as well. At this point in my life, I think I've been wandering around like a blind man most of the time. Nothing else can explain my utter cluelessness about everything.  When you get a divorce, you lose many things. Mostly, you lose the security of what you had. You lose money and things and people you thought would always be there. Men especially seem to be clueless about how to move on. Our male friendships don't support us through things like this. And, if you're a loner like me, you don't have that option anyway.  Above everything else, I miss sex. There are all kinds of sex that people can have. I just miss sex. Any kind. I'm a one woman kind of man, and I've only been with one woman. So, going out and having sex with some stranger won't work for me. I'm not built that way. The only option I have is to simply m...
Read more

She found me

Image
She found me lost and alone wavering like a metronome born into a hateful world she swallowed me in her arms and I was never the same One woman can change a man  one love, one touch, and one forever if you don't believe me just look at me now She loves me at my worst lifts me up when I feel done grants me access to a new world where I don't have to be perfect She's knows I'm just a man but treats me like I'm better, made of something swift and strong and forever young She also sees the scars etched deeply in my flesh I stand naked before her but she never judges What I am is changed her love changed me rearranged me put me back together better even made me look at myself and not hate what I saw Now I see why God gave woman to man what a blessing, what peace what a stunning realization so different from what I've always known And so I love her, too,  the same as she loves me with everything I have until my last breath what a beautiful woman to make such an ugly m...
Read more