41 things - part three

Alright! You're halfway to the end!

I'm starting to wish I was a lot younger because I don't think I can come up with 41 random facts about myself.  Also because it sucks getting old. And sometimes I forget where my keys are.

21) I love BBQ potato chips. I used to be obsessed with Jolt Cola. I have a Surge CD. Surge is a beverage that was created in the 90s. They tried to market their beverage with alternative music. I don't know how I got it, but the Surge CD was actually two CDs, the other you were supposed to give to a friend. I didn't hate anyone that much to give them the CD, though I don't know where the other CD went. These days I use a lot of stevia. Once upon a time, I actually grew stevia. It's a fascinating plant. I used to have an organic garden, so I grew a lot of cool stuff. I've always been pretty open about the food I eat. For instance, I hate kale (and a lot of other brassicas), which is strange for someone who supposedly tries to eat healthily. There isn't much I won't try at least once. I won't eat blood, though, like blood sausage. I don't like the taste of blood. I will eat liver, but I detest it. Some things (though I may like them) I just can't eat because they don't like me. That's probably a metaphor for life.

22) I used to clip out newspaper articles of an older girl when I was like 13. She was beautiful and blonde, lived in a town not far away, was in sports, and was always in her town's newspaper. Her dad was a coach, and she had an older sister (or two?) involved in sports also. I once saw her dad at a track meet and saw he parted his hair on the opposite side as I did. I changed my hair to be like his. I think I only saw this girl in person a couple of times, which was fine because my knees turned to jelly. I honestly have no idea what I saw in her. Crushes are that way, I guess.

23) I have a thing for gums. No, not chewing gum — gums that hold teeth in place. I also have a thing for teeth, but a lot of people do. I watch people's mouths when they speak, and they probably think they have something in their teeth. I remember watching a show a long time ago simply because the girl had really nice gums. My ex-wife walked into the room and asked what I was watching, and I said something like, "I don't know, but she has really nice gums." That show turned out to be Veronica Mars, and that girl was Kristen Bell. She still has nice gums.

24) Other celebrity crushes I've had: Lights (though not so much anymore), Emma Roberts (I have a thing for lisps, maybe because it allows me to focus on a person's lips), Emma Watson (even watched the recent Beauty and the Beast — and cried when the beast sang!), and Natalia Dyer (so stoked for Stranger Things season 3 coming up in July). I can't explain these crushes; they're pretty harmless and ephemeral. And I guess you could say the same thing about me. Harmless and ephemeral.

25) Male celebrities I enjoy watching for reasons other than their beauty: Bill Pullman (so good in The Sinner), Aaron Eckhart (I'll watch anything with him in it), Keanu Reeves (John Wick, dude), Michael Fassbender, Jason Statham, Mark Wahlberg, Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling, and Will Smith (probably because they are in everything), just to name a few.

26) I always have lip balm in my pocket. I once had a dental hygienist tell me I'd get cancer if I didn't use it. Thanks for that. 

27) I had an eye doctor tell me the inside of my eyes was "weird." What the hell does that mean? He said there's nothing wrong with them, though. I should have asked what that meant because I've gone the rest of my life wondering why I have weird eyes on the inside. "Hey, guy, nothing wrong here, but I just thought you should be self-conscious the rest of your life about your eyes." 

28) Once, I almost burned down our house. The house (with solar envelope design) still stands, as you can see above. (Unfortunately, someone painted over the pretty redwood.) I don't know how old I was. It was before we moved, so I was less than 10 years old. Anyway, my parents would leave me home alone all the time. I recall one time I called my mom at work and told her, crying, that my testicle had disappeared (it had gone up inside my body). Anyway, the fire I started. I must have been playing with matches in the solarium. Somehow an entire tablecloth burned up. I didn't see it happen. All the matches were out, I thought. One must have smoldered. I was taking a nap when they got home, and then I got a beating. I still enjoy fire to this day, and I have a healthy respect for it. I wish I could be a firefighter. But I'm too old now.

29) I own at least five pairs of Ecco shoes. Also, a pair of Ecco boots. Some were (naturally) purchased from eBay. They feel so good on my feet. They're like vaginas for my toes ... ahhh.

30) When I was little, I saw Bambi in the theater. I don't recall crying, but the memory of seeing it stuck with me. It must have affected me profoundly. Thanks, Disney.