my careless contagion

I asked my mom to answer questions recently about motherhood. Here are her answers. I include it here because it is retrospective in nature and I don't want to lose it.  *** 1.Favorite memory: It’s really hard to pinpoint one thing. I loved holding my babies, carrying them. Having them fall asleep on my shoulder. Nursing them, knowing I was feeding them something that was really good for them. You would nurse for  awhile  , then pull away, smile at me, then go back to nursing. What a joy! When you were older, reading books together was fun. I just loved having all my children underfoot, at home. As far as you were concerned, you gave the best hugs. When I was grouchy, you would ask if I needed a hug. You always seemed to understand me; we were on the same wavelength, You didn’t talk much, but when you did, you always had something important to say. You were thoughtful, you thought a lot about deep things. You had a good understanding of important things. I enjoyed having ...

I said it before, but I love The Monkees. They were one of my original musical fixations, plus they came packaged with a silly TV show which was right up my alley. All kids have a silly heart. (Yes, I realize they were a fabricated band and some of their songs were actual downers.) I watched them a lot, usually by myself in the loft since no one else wanted to watch. They were mine, all mine. I have a whimsical soul, and they plugged into that. And "Cheer up, sleepy Jean. Oh what can it mean to a daydream believer and a homecoming queen?" is one of the best lines in all of songdom. It is simply sublime. Crank up the orchestra and come along.  Why am I posting this song now? Because Saturday and Sunday mornings are for daydreaming. Sure, get all your stuff done, but don't forget to daydream. The lyrics could mean a variety of things. I personally think he daydreamed up a girlfriend and even gave her a name. (Even easier to do these days, with thirst traps proliferating. L...

Broken Bow, Nebraska. I moved there when I was 10 years old and moved away at 19. I saw a lot of changes in 9 years. I decided to take a trip there since I had some time and wanted to see if I could kick up anything from the past.  Sure, a lot of things came to mind. I started to recall some stuff right away. Some good, some bad. Some I wasn't sure what to do with. There certainly are some patterns that were set down here that persisted during my life, patterns for good and bad. I started reading my Bible as a boy in the house on the corner. I read that children's Bible until I bought my own. I used to play with my friend Geoff who lived next door. When I was told we were moving, I was watering my garden out back. I was told I could have another garden. I did. It was better, too. Sometimes change is hard, even if we're sure something will be better than what we have now. I'm still learning that.  We played basketball and football and baseball at that house. We had water...

  A Place in the Sun. Just the name evokes pleasant images and good feelings. Stevie Wonder is a literal musical genius and Motown legend. I don't even know where to begin. He was such an important  — and positive — influence on my childhood. Considering how awful my father was, maybe I saw Stevie as a kind of father figure. I get good feelings just hearing the opening of one of his hits and am instantly transported to a time and place I can no longer go in the flesh but which remains with me in memory. Sounds can trigger memories, much as smells or tastes do. A Place in the Sun was released in 1966 (He was 16), more than 10 years before I was born. But I love this song even today, much as I do many of Stevie's songs.  Let's look at the lyrics.  Like a long, lonely stream I keep runnin' towards a dream Movin' on, movin' on Like a branch on a tree I keep reachin' to be free Movin' on, movin' on 'Cause there's a place in the sun Where there...

Why is it so many of the hardcore songs I listened to in my youth have come true? From Guilty of being white by Minor Threat to Los Angeles is burning by Bad Religion, it's safe to say hardcore music is prophetic. So many spoke for so long about the direction we were headed. And now we're here. Rollins. Social Distortion. Face to Face. Samiam. Fugazi. The Descendents. If they had anything at all to say about society, it is seen as prophetic now. I could spend years just writing about this. We slid farther down the rabbit hole than I ever imagined. But I'm digressing already. The hardcore anthem Small man, big mouth by Minor Threat talks about a specific type of man. You know the type. He's small but he walks with his chest out, shooting his mouth off at every chance. He wears shirts that say things like, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog." He's abrasive and looking for a fight. He has something to ...

But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name. (John 1:12) Opinion by Greg Graffin still resonates deeply with me, as does the entire album on which it is found , American Lesion, released in 1997. The album, released in November 23 years ago, was Greg Graffin's first solo release (he has three now). Greg Graffin is most known as the frontman and principal songwriter of Bad Religion, the seminal hardcore band founded in 1979. He's also a doctor, as he has a Ph.D. in zoology. At one time, he was one of two leading index fossil scientists. Index fossils determine the age of the surrounding strata in which they are found, which helps gauge the age of other fossils when carbon dating isn't likely to help. So, he's a scientist. He's also an author and has written many books over the years. His interests are varied, and they all inform each other. This album was written after his div...

With this post, I wrap up my photo memories (and, soon, this blog). I was originally going to share this photo with my Christmas memories. However, something caught my eye. And I'm not talking about whatever is on the surface of the photo. It's a great shot, probably taken by either my grandmother or a family friend. I was very young, and this was taken at our first house. I've ruined my fair share of family photos. I was always the one making faces or putting bunny ears on someone. It was typical lastborn stuff, though not always appreciated. No one cares anymore. But this photo is darn near perfect. Except I'm looking at my mom while everyone else is looking at the camera. I was enjoying the fact that everyone was happy for a moment. And that's what we forget: photographs are just moments. They don't always tell us the whole truth. But I can tell those smiles are genuine.  What I like about this photo, and this is why I chose to close with it, is it sho...

Herein lies some random memories in no particular order. These are some of my earliest memories, so they took place at our first house in Hot Springs.  The above photo (why am I always half-naked?) shows me and Jon picking some beans at our neighbor's house. I recall they went on vacation or something and we picked some of their produce. This really made an impression on me, as I still recall the strange feeling of being somewhere we normally weren't allowed to go. That was probably my first experience with a garden. I was the only one in my family who had a garden growing up. I was very responsible and took care of it, watering it every day and weeding when necessary. This is something I've come to realize about myself: I've always taken care of things. Had my life been a little different, I probably would have been an even more nurturing person, but I still do take care of things.   A lot of old pictures, I am marching to the beat of my own drummer. The abo...