You and me
Slipping in and out of sleep, I dreamed you were here, your body against mine. Through closed eyes, we felt one another across a great distance. You teased me repeatedly, making me want you, then retreated, asking me what's wrong. There's nothing wrong with wanting. What's wrong is the not having, not being sure, grasping for the golden ring, like falling in love with a movie star from long ago.
My eyes opened, and you weren't there. But I was sure you were momentarily, visiting repeatedly. We connected across time and space, like a portal yawned open for a moment. Our souls touched. Our hearts met. Then you were gone again.
Are you a wild animal which refuses to be kept, more at home in the forest than with man? A cat, a fox, a wolf. All have been tamed to a degree, but all retain a wild heart. The fox in The Little Prince said we are forever responsible for what we have tamed. But you there is no taming. You come and go as you please — like the wind, the waves, a fish in the water, a bird in the sky. You are the most wild and untamed creature. Without freedom, you sicken in my arms. I know you exist; you light on my shoulder like a mythical bird, making me believe in the unbelievable, then vanish into the sky, making me wonder if you're real at all. Are we like planes playing connect the dots with stars in the night sky? From the ground, and with dreamy music in my head, anything looks possible.
Someday, perhaps, I will hold your hand, but your heart is wild. It is not capable of being held, only known. It is given, if anything, and that only with time and trust. You speak to the same wildness in me, which refuses to be owned. I am me, and you are you, but our hearts speak the same language.
"Who are you?" I ask, and your answer is the wildness of a storm, the peace that comes after, the rain, the dew, the sun, the moon. You are everything, though not all at once. Free. Beautiful like a sunrise over water. Graceful like a hawk in the air. Far away like a sliver of moon in the sky.
I wonder what you think of me, how you see me, do you trust me, fear me, know me. The answers are yes and no. It's clear a river flows between us day after day. It's an odd thing, what this feels like. It's there, but it's not. Like trusting what you feel in the dark, hoping you don't trip over the unseen. Like kissing Joi in Blade Runner. Like holding a hologram. A step beyond trust, beyond reason, into the unknown.
If you wanted to be a mystery, you succeeded. If you wanted to touch me, you have. If you felt me too, I was none the wiser. All I know is you are different, and this thing has a mind of its own. We are far apart, yet close. We speak different languages, yet understand one another, see the same future, have the same soul, proceed with no guideposts. Like my dream, this is real but unreal. All I know is you're out there, and we touched somehow, though the mechanism was unclear. This is different, pure, and still taking shape.
The future isn't written. Our hearts are free. But I'm hoping this story ends with you and me.
***
If you haven't asked Jesus into your heart, wouldn't you like to? You can say a simple prayer like this: "Lord Jesus, if I've never asked you into my heart before, please come into my heart now and save me from all my sins." If you mean it, He will, and you just started your own adventure with God.
Thank you for reading. And God bless.
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