Punching In A Dream (The Naked And Famous)
All the lights go down as I crawl into the spaces
Fight, flight, or the screams, life tearing at the seams
Wait, I don't ever want to be here
Like punching in a dream, breathing life into my nightmare
If it falls apart I will surely wake it
Bright lights turn me green, this is worse than it seems
Wait, I don't ever want to be here
Like punching in a dream, breathing life into my nightmare
They'll get through, they'll get you
In the place that you fear it the most
In the corner, where it's warmer
In the face that you wish was a ghost
Wait, I don't ever want to be here
Like punching in a dream breathing life into the nightmare
***
Punching In A Dream was released in August 2010 by the New Zealand indie band The Naked And Famous on their debut album. It was featured on many platforms, including the show The Vampire Diaries, which I used to watch. The Nina Dobrev/Candice King duo kept me coming back, long after it was clear it was just a soap opera with blood. But the song is important for a few reasons.
Been thinking about how changing something in your life may seem like a big thing, but the underlying spiritual forces remain the same. If you move to a different state, you're under a different strongman (each state, county, city, etc. has its own strongman), and that affects your life. But not as much as what's inside you.
Since I've long practiced spiritual warfare, I've long been under attack. As long as I live, the enemy will attack. I knew from a young age the standard for my behavior was different, as it seemed I couldn't get away with anything. The devil will find any way to get to me, so I had to walk a narrow path. He was going to attack anyway, but I didn't want to give him an invitation.
Ezekiel chapter 9 talks about God's people having a mark. It wasn't a physical mark, yet they were marked. I always felt I was marked because, no matter where I went, the devil found avenues to attack, though I did my best to insulate myself. Those who have been involved in spiritual warfare and/or deliverance are marked. Wherever I go, attacks follow. The bridge of the song makes it clear they will "get through, they'll get you, in the place that you fear it the most." And that was exactly true. The enemy used those closest in ways I never imagined. When I pulled away, he found other ways. Since the devil found a weak spot in my relationships with women, I made the decision to cease looking for a mate. When I isolated myself, he still found and afflicted me, though not to the same extent. Isolation is a high price to pay to peace, but it's worth it. I listen to a lot of sermons and theological content, like Rob Skiba, on the daily. My brain is hungry. Hungry brain. Tired heart. Sick body. No, nobody wants that.
If you think I'm paranoid, okay. That's understandable. If you haven't found the same pattern in your life, I envy you. I paid a high price for what I knew and how I used it. I go to war in the heavenlies every day. The attacks against me were equal to the impact I had on satan's kingdom.
You say, "Bro, you make everything about yourself," which is an understatement. This is my blog, after all. It's the one opportunity I have to make something about me. I understand this song. I understand being trapped by nightmares, circumstances from which there is seemingly no way out. I repeatedly surrendered every situation to the Lord and understood I couldn't change anything. I broke curses, bound and loosed, fasted, and prayed for years, and still do. It's important to do what we know until we are given more. I'm still here, perhaps for a reason.
I believe a latter rain is going to come upon God's people, and the people who will receive it are likely not the people who think they will receive it. It will be poured out upon those we least suspect, likely a generation of believers who haven't become believers yet. They will have no religiosity, no expectation of how God will work through them. He will use the base things to confound the wise, even me. I will stand in awe of His work and who He chose when the latter rain comes. I pray I am able to see it. If I am allowed to be a worker bee in the latter rain, I will be thrilled and beyond humbled.
When the song says it's "LIKE punching in a dream," that tells me 1) this isn't about a dream and 2) it's describing a problem which has no easy solution. Punching in a dream means you feel powerless in some way in your waking life. Whatever situation that's being described, it's basically a nightmare scenario. It's a good description for the life I led. The end of the tale was I surrendered all the nightmares to God, who is in control of my life. It's in His hands and out of mine, whether He chooses to do anything or not. God is fiercely protective of His servants. If there is a mark on you, it means God protects you from the worst, and defends you when others move against you. (I just heard that another one who was moved against me — like a thorn in my flesh — is dying of cancer. He has a short time to live. Pray for him.) If anyone was moved by the enemy to harm me, even unwittingly, I know God will deal with them. I've seen the worst happen to those who did so, so I feel sorry for them on some level. And I have peace that God takes vengeance when necessary. One of the ways He brings about judgment upon a person or nation is by moving them to come against His people so He can destroy their (His) enemies. As much of a warrior as I am, I know better than to get between Him and those He intends to deal with. And I know better than to take pleasure in their destruction. It's a sad and unnecessary fate. Sometimes the people who offend are left alone but their children are destroyed, which is a harsher punishment, if you ask me.
You could call this music synth pop or electronic indie. Beautiful, thrumming bass and skillful drumming drive the song forward. There's an ethereal quality about the song, like it's an opening to another dimension. Someone sent me a piano song to listen to, and I sat in awe as the master musician played, each hand knowing separate parts of the song and working seamlessly to bring about a synergistic melody — an analogy for a healthy and harmonious relationship. The lyrics of this song generate a pleasant mystery in your mind, leaving you to decide for yourself what it's about. I mentioned recently all art is basically a prompt for the viewer or listener to decide what it means. What it makes you feel says more about you than the piece or art. If you think it's rapturously beautiful, you're basically looking in the mirror. If you think it's boring, you know what that means too (wink).
I'm tired. The assaults are sickeningly relentless, and some days all I want to do is go home and pull a blanket over my head and disappear. Dissociation is closest I come to disappearing. I fight through every day just to have a little peace at the end, and some days I don't even get that. Some days I work nearly 15 hours and take my life into my hands by driving several hours each day in the worst traffic I've ever seen. (It can't be everybody's first day driving every day.) Every day there are close calls. I figure I'm living on borrowed time anyway, but if this blog suddenly ceases, it's possible I didn't make it home some day. I was told about a coworker who we didn't find out had died in a traffic accident until someone saw it on the news. Helluva way to go, if you ask me. My life is in God's hands, but I know the devil would love to cut it short. Stay safe out there. Heaven is closer than you know, and someday we will wake up from this nightmare.
***
If you haven't asked Jesus into your heart, wouldn't you like to? You can say a simple prayer like this: "Lord Jesus, if I've never asked you into my heart before, please come into my heart now and save me from all my sins." If you mean it, He will, and you just started your own adventure with God.
Thank you for reading. And God bless.
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