A mother's memories

I asked my mom to answer questions recently about motherhood. Here are her answers. I include it here because it is retrospective in nature and I don't want to lose it. 


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1.Favorite memory: It’s really hard to pinpoint one thing. I loved holding my babies, carrying them. Having them fall asleep on my shoulder. Nursing them, knowing I was feeding them something that was really good for them. You would nurse for awhile , then pull away, smile at me, then go back to nursing. What a joy! When you were older, reading books together was fun. I just loved having all my children underfoot, at home. As far as you were concerned, you gave the best hugs. When I was grouchy, you would ask if I needed a hug. You always seemed to understand me; we were on the same wavelength, You didn’t talk much, but when you did, you always had something important to say. You were thoughtful, you thought a lot about deep things. You had a good understanding of important things. I enjoyed having Bible studies with you because you always pointed out something I had missed.


2. My first year of motherhood: I always wanted to be a mother; it was my life’s goal. I didn’t think too much past about when you all left home. That was hard. I enjoyed everything about motherhood. I had to work because of finances, but my REAL life was with you kids. The very first year, it was Jason and I while your father was in Vietnam. I wasn’t working, so I just held him a lot, played with him a lot. We stayed at Gramma Rosa’s and she loved being a great-gramma. When you were all older, sometimes we stayed with her in Alpena. I loved being a mother; I hated it when summer vacation was over and you had to go back to school. I enjoyed going for bike rides with the family down the steep hill from our home to downtown. Well, that’s not the first year. I digress…..


3. I have been pretty open about our family’s history. I think that’s what the ministry of deliverance does. Sharing things that could bring family curses is important.


4. Best part: having lots of memories to treasure, having grandchildren. Seeing my sons grow up and being proud of who they are. Worst part: not being able to do the things I’d like to do. Can’t be as physically active; I tire easily and can’t walk much anymore. My eyes don’t see as well either. Also knowing that I won’t be around to be a support for my children and grandchildren; that I can’t pray for them when I am gone. I don’t think anyone cares about their children like a mother. I tell myself sometimes, who will pray for my sons if I don’t do it. So I pray. Earnestly.


5. Nicest things you have ever done for me: Hug me. Understand me. Write me nice notes. (Sometimes in Spanish). Walk with me every night in Broken Bow to see the sunset. Write very sweet notes in cards. (I have kept so many of them, as has your father)


6. What I want most for my sons and grandchildren: To have a relationship with the Lord. To stay involved with spiritual warfare and deliverance. To be the person God wants each of you to be. To be faithful to the calling He has put on your life. That you persevere through the hard times, trusting God to take care of you, regardless of circumstances. I want to be faithful so I leave a Godly legacy for each of you.


7. When I am gone, I want my sons to know how very much I loved each of you. You are always on my mind and in my prayers. And know that I am part of that great cloud of witnesses who is watching you from the balcony of Heaven….


Extra: A favorite memory I have of you was when you were maybe 1 or 2: We were living in Hot Springs. We opened presents at Christmas and when I opened one from Jason and Jon, I would thank them and hug them and kiss them. I opened one from your father, and you saw that I was happy, so you just hugged me and kissed me. You didn’t know how it all worked, but you wanted to join in.


Sometimes I would say whoever did something, they would get a prize: a kiss from me. Jason and Jon didn’t want it, but you always did. You were very sweet. And I have to say that I’ve always said you were the cutest baby I had ever seen. No, I wasn’t prejudiced; you really were. I didn’t say that about Jason or Jon……


Once, when your father had a meeting in Pierre, we went along, but went to the roller skating rink for the afternoon. None of you had ever roller skated, so I spent the entire afternoon taking turns with each of you going around the rink, holding you up. It was great fun for me! At the end of the afternoon when we turned out skates in, the clerk said she had never seen anyone with so much patience. I was amazed. I hadn’t thought that I needed patience. I was just having fun with the three of you teaching you how to roller skate because I had enjoyed it so much when I was young.


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I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea about my childhood. I was loved. My parents did the best they could, given the circumstances, which were not ideal. Yes, bad things happened, but I don't want to misrepresent the human beings who raised me. We are all just doing the best we can. I hope my son sees the same thing when he looks back someday. I did the best I could, son. 

Thank you for reading. And God bless.

And my other blog, None Dare Call It Treason.

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