Just Tell Them When You Saw Me I Was On My Way (Sue Dodge)
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January 28, 2018, I started this blog. I was alone and the divorce was nearly final (February 8). With no one to talk to about what I was feeling, I wrote here, originally transcribing from a notebook. What began as a form of therapy evolved into a journey of faith. What started in a very bad place ended in a much better place, though I am still alone. This blog garnered 34,000 hits over six years, which is a big surprise. (Also surprised attempts to create a new blog failed, but the love letters written to a certain woman were likely the reason anyone read here anyway.) Thank you to everyone who read here at some point. I prayed you got something out of it. Learned a lot about myself and am a lot humbler at its closing than at its beginning. Honesty, facing problems, and working toward solutions paid off, but it was God who did a work.
I cut my teeth on gospel songs. Win Worley's song sermons were my favorite and listened to them on cassette over and over. Such joy in that man's voice. I argued with folks who said he sang off key (not saying they're wrong), but they missed the point entirely. The song sermon messages were in the songs, and I never heard anyone sing with such love. It was a little glimpse of my Heavenly Father's love. On a side note, Win (short for Winfred) was offered a recording contract in his youth. What we saw in his later years was a body broken by sacrifice through near-constant travel to get the message out of set the captives free. I was allowed to be a part of this nation's last great revival (evil spirits manifesting is always a sign of a true revival, in case one wonders what all the ruckus is about). I miss that man and greatly desire to be as faithful as he was in his 63 years. I believe this video is from 1993, which was the year he died. I'm incredibly grateful and awestruck I was allowed to be a part of that ministry and revival (you can see a very young high school Joshua, one of his brothers, mother, and father in that video).
I thank God for all the many trials He took me through over the last 6 years. Without Him, I wouldn't be here. This song is an old favorite, as are many of the songwriter's. Ira Stanphill wrote this and many others. If I were to sing this song, I don't think I could do as well as Sue, but, then again, we're all made differently. God blesses us in different ways. I can sing. Just not this big. Do I feel gospel songs are often overwrought in their delivery? Yes, but this is fine. She can sing this as big as she wants to. It's a big sentiment. I am leaving this space. It ran its course. Remember me this way, please:
Lyrics:
Well, I was tested by the tempter,
I was tested by the throng.
I was burdened with my sorrow and old Satan did me wrong.
But when my feet did falter my Savior heard me pray.
He said tell them when you saw me I was on my way.
Well, just tell them when you saw me I was on my way.
I was climbing up the mountain to the land of endless day.
With my face toward the sunrise and the shadows all behind.
Just tell them when you saw me I was on my way.
Now if you should get to Heaven before I see that land.
You just listen to the angels and then join that singing band.
And when you see my Savior in the land of endless day.
Just tell Him when you saw me I was on my way.
***
This blog ends today, but life doesn't end here, of course. This story, I feel, has only just begun. Can't wait to see where He leads me. Please pray I am obedient. If any of this story resonates with or edifies you, I give God all the thanks and glory.
Also, it looks like the girl and I are going to keep trying.
Maybe you were curious what happened to the guy who had his heart destroyed. Maybe you thought he was a pussy for crashing out over the biggest disappointment of his life. Maybe you never knew the backstory. Wandering through Gatsby’s abandoned mansion, you wondered what transpired. Maybe you just stumbled in. In any case, you’re here. [Could have split into two posts. To save space, I refer to my ex-wife as K and the woman I fell in love with after divorce as C.] There’s a scene in the movie Drive where a bad guy calmly slits a man’s wrist (the right way — the long way) and tells him to sit down, be calm, because, “It’s done, it’s over, there’s no pain.” That’s how I imagined C ending things. I held out my hand for a friendly goodbye handshake, and she slit my wrist cooly, as if it was her duty. But, it wasn’t over, and there was pain. I sat down, bleeding. I’m still here, and it still hurts. I hate when people experience a small disruption and attach to it spiritual significanc...
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