my careless contagion

Last post! That wasn't so bad, was it? I'm now officially sick of myself. I bet y'all are too. 31) I like messing with people. Not all the time, of course, because that's obnoxious. At my old job, one of my favorite things to do was to tell a string of jokes about something until someone joined in. At that point, I would turn on them and act horrified, like they had gone too far. That still cracks me up. I'm pretty sure 99.9% of my humor is for my own amusement. 32) I don't remember my first time having sex at all. I just wanted to get it over with. I waited 20 years for it, but I have no recollection. Ain't that how it goes? You wait so long for something and then it's over and you don't even remember it, like cotton candy in your mouth. Furthermore, I don't know if this is a function of my bad memory or what, but I don't even remember what sex was like, period. 33) My favorite book is the Bible. After that, let's see, t...

Alright! You're halfway to the end! I'm starting to wish I was a lot younger because I don't think I can come up with 41 random facts about myself.  Also because it sucks getting old. And sometimes I forget where my keys are. 21) I love BBQ potato chips. I used to be obsessed with Jolt Cola. I have a Surge CD. Surge is a beverage that was created in the 90s. They tried to market their beverage with alternative music. I don't know how I got it, but the Surge CD was actually two CDs, the other you were supposed to give to a friend. I didn't hate anyone that much to give them the CD, though I don't know where the other CD went. These days I use a lot of stevia. Once upon a time, I actually grew stevia. It's a fascinating plant. I used to have an organic garden, so I grew a lot of cool stuff. I've always been pretty open about the food I eat. For instance, I hate kale (and a lot of other brassicas), which is strange for someone who supposedly tries t...

This is only part two of four! Hang in there! More random things about me. 11) Continuing where I left off in the last post, here's a funny thing about Mr. Hookie. His family moved from the same town my family moved from to the same town we moved to (in a different state)! He had a son in my grade. There was also a girl in our class who moved from that town to the same town we moved to! The three of us graduated together. There's a picture of us in graduation gowns. I'll respect their privacy and not post it here, though. I'm still friends with the girl, but I have lost track of the boy. Or he lost track of me. We were friends for a while, but I was a dick to him so I guess it's fair he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. 12) The town where I went to college had a telemarketing company. A lot of students worked there, as I recall. I remember receiving a call from that company, trying to sell me magazines. I was so lonely, I stayed on the line lon...

Forty-one random things about me. Because this blog isn't self-indulgent enough! Hopefully I can scrounge up 41 somewhat interesting or strange things about me — one for each year I've been alive. Considering how boring my life is, this may be a challenge!  1) The first crush I had on a girl was Kristin Braley (above). She was my babysitter's daughter, a year older than me, and a lot of fun. She taught me to eat my boogers. We played with sandstone in her backyard, grinding it to dust. I said I would marry her. She was also a tomboy and had freckles, which is probably why I still like girls with freckles to this day. The last photo I have of her she was about 15 years old, but I have no idea what became of her.  2) When I was very young, my imaginary friend was Mickey Mouse. After school, I went down to the office where my parents worked. In the basement behind a partition, they had set up a cot for me. It was the darkest, scariest place conceivable for a ch...