Rock bottom

 
 
It was a one-two punch
mourning the loss
of two girls at once
some days it felt like the pain would last forever

I'm better now
at least, some days I am

I cry a lot:
when I'm alone in my apartment
when I've driving
when I read books
when I watch movies
sometimes at work
if I can hurry away in time
always before I fall asleep
and sometimes when I wake up

I've lost everything
hit rock bottom
have wallowed in it
have swallowed it
become it

I don't know why I persist
I guess because
I'm the only one who can live this life
someone has to do it

Is it true what they say
when you hit rock bottom
the only way to go is up?

Now is when I find out.

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