Can't Buy Me Love
Can't Buy me love is a fantastic humorous farse, an 80s movie about a nerd who gets to see what it's like to be one of the cool kids. The part that always got me was he somehow got to be with the hottest girl in school, the girl of his dreams, a girl described as not only out of his league but out of everyone's league. Wanna guess her name? Weird question? Her name is Cindy. When I watched this movie when I was in high school, the irony of that fact was lost on me, but it isn't now. I watched this movie so many times, I lost count. I love it.
From Wikipedia: Can't Buy Me Love is a 1987 American teen romantic comedy film directed by Steve Rash,[2] starring Patrick Dempsey and Amanda Peterson in a story about a nerd at a high school in Tucson, Arizona, who gives a cheerleader $1,000 to pretend to be his girlfriend for a month. The film takes its title from a Beatles song of the same title.
Why do I love this movie? It's funny. It's the 80s, too, which was a much simpler, seemingly peaceful time. This movie came out in 1987 when I was 10 years old. Lately, I've been watching and rewatching old movies, movies I haven't seen in years. I was happy to see this pop up recently, so gladly rewatched it. Yeah, I'm on a bit of an old movie kick. But they have to be good, light-hearted movies like Career Opportunities. And I will forego watching Can't Hardly Wait again (which is a 90s movie anyway), at least for a while. I stop short of watching the likes of Encino Man.
The themes are universal. We all want to be accepted. But, we also self-segregate into cliques where we feel most accepted, which creates boundaries or tiers of society, even in high school, where the movie takes place. Patrick Dempsey plays the role of Ronnie Miller brilliantly. He's the nerdy kid who wants to be cool for once. He succeeds, if only for a moment. Amanda Peterson plays the role of Cindy just as brilliantly. Sadly, Amanda passed away in 2017 at the age of 43. I am still sad about that. I don't know what happened in her life that caused her to die at such a young age. It's hard to reconcile the fact that she is no more when I watch this movie because I don't want to believe it. Of course, the movie is nearly 35 years old and people die and sometimes we don't know why they die at such a young age.
Another universal theme is the guy who against all odds somehow gets the girl, even though it was done the wrong way. It's a thought and fantasy guys on the bottom of the heap are well familiar with. That theme is fodder for so many teen movies. And fodder for me for much of my life. Hell, I'm still there. I'm still that guy, trying to be with the girl who is so far out of my league, I don't even know how to talk to her. If a woman is one or two steps away from you, one could conceivably make that jump. If she is several jumps away, above and beyond on a different plane, then the odds of success are much smaller. Such is where I am and where Cindy is.
Though the movie is for laughs, it does carry some serious themes such as those mentioned above. It says a lot about society and how we operate, even though its job is to entertain. Everyone who has gone through high school probably wondered why we make cliques and groups and boundaries. Consider this thought: I read that most people report incredibly high levels of stress and even pain when in the presence of a beautiful person. We honestly don't want to be around them, though we admire them. We put them on pedestals and set them before us, but we don't want to go near them. It's an odd thing. When I go to the beach, I notice that, for the most part, folks self-segregate down various lines. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying it happens. Tribalism is part of how humanity works. We want to be around people who remind us who we are. We want to be among our tribe.
But what if the girl you are infatuated with is from a different tribe? Good luck! That's what the movie says. Honestly, it does work that way most of the time. I know I'm engaging in wishful thinking when I think about the girl I'm infatuated with. Perhaps I should do as Ronnie did and essentially try to buy love, or, at least, the appearance of affection. The irony is the girl did start to fall for him, but he was too enamored with his newfound coolness to care for that budding love. It's ironic, of course. I know I wouldn't make the same mistake, should I ever (illogically) find myself in the same happy situation.
As much as I detest the fact that some people think they are better than others, I have to admit the rest of us are probably better off without those folks around. Probably best they stay in their boring neighborhoods and country clubs. Thinking further, I don’t know why I wasn’t accepted by some kids. I didn’t live in the right neighborhood maybe. Or didn’t go to the right church. Or my parents didn’t work in the right industry. Or maybe I didn’t dress right. I have no idea. The short answer is humans are tribal beings, forever segmenting society into smaller and smaller bits. (And we don't completely trust those who ignore the boundaries we set up, such as social butterflies.) For the record, I didn't aspire to be popular or whatever. I just wanted one person to love me. Just one sold-out person — someone who believed in me and wanted to be with me until time ran out. That was always my goal.
You can't go back and right your wrongs. Or change how society works. It doesn't work that way. Maybe in movies. But movies aren't real life. I wasn't set up to be with that girl. (Yes, I'd still love to be in her life, any way I can.) Life goes on, regardless of what we did right or did wrong. No one should take advice from a movie, but, if you look hard enough, you'll see a warning embedded in it. It says don't take for granted what you have. When the girl started falling for Ronnie, he got something much better than the notoriety he sought. Yeah. The movie stings a little for me, but that's because of my own past stupidity, a stupidity that knew no bounds. I'm older and wiser now, I like to think. Let me clarify: when the girl of your dreams starts falling for you, catch her. Make her yours. Or spend the rest of your life in regret.
I recommend watching this movie if any of this appeals to you. On the surface, it's a throwaway, fun movie from the 80s. But, somewhere along the line, it became nostalgic. There is some magic in it, as all movies should have, that hasn't rusted over time. We still want the guy to get the girl, even for a moment. My favorite part of the movie is the end. Suffice to say I wish I was that lucky. Here's hoping.
***
God is doing something exciting in my life. I don't know how to write about it at the moment.
I wrote this a while back. I thought to write some sort of update here, but my heart feels the same as when I wrote it. In fact, that's about the only thing that remained the same over the years. Clearly, I have a lot to process, but the burden doesn't lie solely on me. Should I reiterate my position? Should I change the best thing about myself? Should I close my heart to possibilities that seem far-fetched just because they are far-fetched? She is simply amazing. To be a part of her life even in a small way still seems possible. Love is synonymous with hope. (Though my love is imperfect, it is still love. I Corinth. 13-4-8 tell us what love looks like, and I fall short of that.) As long as I am alive and God is God, there is always hope. Whatever God gives me, I accept. He knows what I need. I thank and praise Him for His many blessings.
I have a great desire to follow God. Sometimes I get scared of where we are going, however. It’s not a permanent failure. I come back to Him and reaffirm my faith like Peter did, and then we move ahead. God is so good. Amen?
Thank you for reading. And God bless.
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