Some notes on blessings

Being a Christian can be very hard. Being a warrior Christian is unbelievably hard because the enemy is strong. Making mistakes and then paying for them in this life (thumbs to chest) is also very hard. Unfortunately, I fit the latter description most often, as this blog bears witness. But, when we get out of our own way, God blesses us. That's what this post is about. 

My life is not perfect. I've been walking around with a broken heart as long as I can remember. Losing the girl I love was hopefully the last heartbreak for a while. I feel God stitching me back together, and quickly. The conversation of Oct. 26 gave me the closure I needed. I was operating under some very bad, specious information and false impressions, and I was set straight that day. Later conversations cemented everything, enabling me to go forward with the right information. That door has closed, and whether it opens again or not is not up to me. If I'm good at anything, it's admitting I'm wrong. 

As I sit here, I am sick for, what, the third, fourth, or fifth day? Sore throat, flu-like symptoms. I know I made myself sick. I know how I did it. Still, it's unusual for me to be sick this long. There are many things I dislike about my life. There is next to nothing I can do to change those things. This post is about how God has blessed me, though. 

God gives us everything good. The earth is full of blessings. Of course, the devil subverts them and turns our affection toward the blessings and not the Blesser. Recently, God gave me Psalm 62. It's hard to describe when God gives you a chapter or verse. It sort of pops out at you like it is illuminated, and it speaks to your spirit. Psalm 62 says when riches are increased, do not set your heart on them. 

Saturday, while I was on my way to buy a car, which certainly qualifies as a blessing, I read Psalm 68, which says that God daily loadeth us with blessings. Here's a short note on the car. My budget was about $15K, and maybe a stretch to $16K. This car I had seen before but the price was so ridiculously low, I figured it wouldn't last. And I still had to sell my car. I prayed about it, put my car up for sale, and someone bought it almost right away. It was super easy and super fast. And it was a blessing to an older Christian lady. 

Anyway, I got a notification that this other car was still out there and had recently had a price drop. I was intrigued. I noticed it said it was a hail car (which can affect future claims), so I checked with my insurance agent about that, and it didn't seem like a deal-killer. Still in prayer, I went to check on this car, which was in the Northern Black Hills. I should note this car should have sold for about $22K because of its low miles and options (in fact, I don't think it is missing any options). Yes, it has hail damage, and I have to patch a couple of holes in the plastic on the back, but, otherwise, the car is perfect. I can't turn aside a car with some dings in the sheet metal when I have more than a few dings in my body. For what I was praying to get and what my budget was, it is literally a miracle I could own this car. That is what I call a blessing. 

It pays to ask God for things you want, even though you don't believe they are possible. No, I'm not going to love this car more than I love God, so it's a safe thing to give Joshua. I didn't have my heart set on it. I just went forward in prayer. In case you're curious, I got the car for about $14.3K, actually under budget. And I bought the car from a family-run, (supposedly) Christian business. So, sold my car to a Christian lady who will benefit from my meticulous care, then I (Christian man) got an unbelievable deal that benefitted me and also the Christian-run business I bought it from. I just see God's fingerprints with connections like that.

What I got is a car that should be bullet-proof reliable for many years. It has AWD, is comfortable, has more power, is quieter, more refined, and has tons of options. Yes, it could be struck by another car tomorrow, and that's okay. Like I said, my heart isn't set on it. I just trust God with my decisions and my possessions. That lifts the burden of ownership off me. These things are here to take care of me, not the other way around. If the blessings are taken away, it won't affect my relationship with God. Should more trouble come into my life, I won't run to the blessings anyway, I will run to God.

I tithe. Christians are supposed to tithe 10% of their gross income. Actually, everyone is supposed to — Christian or not — because it is God who gives us the power to make wealth. If a person wants to tithe more than 10%, that's a gift, which God can then turn around and bless us in abundance again. God's economy is great. Giving 10% shouldn't seem like a burden. I don't make much, yet I still tithe. Lots of people make less than me and make it work. But the important thing we are supposed to see by tithing is all of our blessings come from God. Literally everything. Why are we crabbing about 10%?

Extend that logic to everything else in your life, and there is a whole lot of crabbing going on. God gives us so much and expects so little in return. We (read: me) get hung up on what we don't have and lose sight of what we do have. No, I didn't get the girl (or any girl). No, I'm not happy with my life, my parents, my ex, sometimes my son, most of the time myself, the weather, being sick, the fact that I'm working in a quickly dying industry, whatever. But, that's deeply ungrateful on so many levels. I have a sign in my little apartment that says in everything give thanks. I've always tried to keep my blessings in front of my eyes. That's why I'm writing this post. God can turn my mourning into laughter. But I can't — not when I'm crabbing about it, for sure. There is little chance my heart will stop hurting anytime soon, just as there is little chance the weather will not be bad for the next 8 months, but that doesn't mean I can't see beyond those temporary things to something wonderful God has for me or the blessings I have right now. 

It's just a car. And it's more than that. It's an answer to prayer. A blessing. And it shows me that whatever God gifts me with in the future, I can graciously accept those things without them taking up room in my heart — space that belongs to God. It also says I am already immensely blessed, and I just have to open my eyes. God wants to bless His people here and now, not just in the great by and by.

I have the end of the year in sight. It has been another hard year for me. It started out with a kick-in-the-pants, back-to-reality vibe, has continued that way, and looks to end that way. All of that is okay. God has blessed me in spite of the troubles and in spite of things not going the way I wanted them to. I may have been wrong about some things, but I was never wrong about God's love or His infinite blessings. And I seek out those daily reminders of how much I am truly blessed. 

Thank you for following along. And may God bless you.