Dreams (The Cranberries)
The Cranberries' singer passed away a few years ago. I believe alcohol was involved but don't know enough to comment further. Is it just me or do the Irish drink a lot? Everyone I've known of Irish descent was that way, but it's let's not generalize. In any case, that's a sad outcome. She wasn't very old.
The song Dreams, which seems to have multiple "official" videos, is quite nice. The lyrics agree with that sentiment. It's a lovingly-stated love song, or a beginning-of-love song. Sometimes when we fall for someone, they seem unreal. They take on a rosy hue, and some might say we are wearing rose-tinted glasses when we are in the beginning stages of infatuation. It's a nice feeling, but it doesn't last long. (It can lead to exhaustion and a pushing away. Then a decision is made to either continue the relationship or step away.) One can get addicted to the feeling of infatuation, which leads to relationship hopping and eventually depression because we haven't had "luck" in love. For those people, it might be helpful to know love is not just a feeling. It may start out that way, but it ends up being an action. You dutifully choose that person. Staying in a relationship with someone and putting in effort is love, regardless of how it feels. A lot of people who don't look like they are in love are, in fact, quite in love. We just have a different idea of what it should feel like. Think of what Jesus did for us and that's the best example of love in action. God didn't just say He loved us. His actions said it all. It's no coincidence God chose that sort of giving of oneself as an example of how men should love their wives.
The more I research relationships and what they should look like, I realize no one really knows what they are talking about, unless they've seen true love in action. Most of us have no good example to follow. And many are still wounded from childhoods that were quite severe. Consider this. Narcissistic abuse, which I am a victim of, causes brain damage. Literal brain damage. The abuse causes cortisol levels to spike to unreal levels, shrinking the hippocampus (center of the brain). The hippocampus controls short-term memory and learning. The amygdala (which controls emotions like fear and anxiety and all other danger responses) swells, putting one in a constant state of fear. Fight or flight responses and being in survival mode define those who endure(d) narcissistic abuse. Over time, this causes severe anxiety (and the Bible says fear has torment, so those individuals are tormented by fear). Victims of narcissistic abuse will struggle with correct emotional responses, often experiencing fear in safe situations. It may explain why my health declined significantly the last few years, as well, as not only do I not feel anyone loves me but I'm also at a deficit because of past abuse. Simply put, I spiraled downward internally and now exhibit on the outside what is happening on the inside.
Do I expect love to save me? Love has saved me. God is love. I'm here because He loves me and no other reason. Considering my past, I should not still be alive. Having said that, let me just say this video is freaking weird. These hooded ghouls dig up a thing from a bog or something and take it to a house where she puts water on it and out comes a man? An alternate explanation for this song, which also works well, is all of this is in her mind. She dreamed up a man to love her. Which paints the song all sorts of colors of sad. So let's not do that. A major change came in my life when I decided to walk only on the sunny side of the street. Yes, I realize what is out there. I lived it. I'm not ignoring anything, just choosing to live differently because I've been given another chance at life. I choose sunshine over rain.
I'm very blessed to have so many good things going. I felt God told me recently that I was concerning myself with too many big-picture items, which was probably wreaking havoc on my health. My job is simple, though not without struggle, and that is to be obedient. My focus is to get healthy again and be obedient, and not in that order. My health got to be such a concern that I stopped fasting on Saturdays (which I've done nearly every Saturday for more than three years). But I recognize something else is more important than my health.
I think the theme lately is relationships. They can be the source of tremendous health and enjoyment. They can also be quite deleterious. The rules of relationships aren't universally understood, which is why I spent much time making hard rules for my personal conduct. Regardless of what others do, I will have a way forward. And one of those rules is to constantly seek the Lord's guidance.
About the girl, I gave our friendship to the Lord. What happens from that point is not on me. All I did was get us stuck in a stalemate of sorts. I'm glad she's in my life, though it seems she needs to take a break at the moment. I told her quite a while ago she could have as much time as she needs. We're gonna make it, no matter what. Also, I asked her even longer ago to move forward with me, as I believe God would bless it. I wasn't wrong, but somehow we got slowed down and stopped. I don't know enough about it to comment more. It's in God's hands and she is an extraordinary woman who deserves the best.
In closing, since this post is about a song called Dreams, don't forget to dream. I take my advice quite literally and now lay down for a nap. Sweet dreams, everyone!
Thank you for reading. And God bless.
Comments
Post a Comment