Beauty, expounded upon
I wrote this a bit ago. Not sure when. It’s weakly written but heartfelt. I’m not the most eloquent writer, but God gave me a gift to express my heart. To write about a woman who came back into my life 5 years ago and left four and a half years ago may seem silly to some, but they don’t see my heart like God does.
I feel the need to explain my long-running affection for a woman. I know she’s gone. Trust me, I know. But phooey on that. I still think she’s the best thing since sliced butter. Or diced bread. Or buttered bread. Whatever. She’s the bee’s knees. A godly woman like no other. The virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31. Until someone else comes along to praise her, I will. I imagine someone will be along any day. I don’t have much time. So here goes.
If someone left your life years ago, but you still praise them, they are truly something special. What I intend to do in this post is explain to anyone who doesn't get it what I find so special about her. I will compare her to the Proverbs 31 woman. First, let's look at the appropriate part of Proverbs 31, starting in verse 10.
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Right off the bat, the writer asks a question. Who can find a virtuous woman? She is very rare. That much I know. The woman I fell in love with is exceedingly rare. And she is better than any amount of money or precious stones. To answer the question, only God can bring a woman like that into your life.
If she was married, the heart of her husband could safely rest in her. I have no doubt. If she married a godly man, parts of this passage would be more easily seen. Unfortunately, she married a man who terrorized and abused her, like she was a lamb and he a lion. Still, she stuck close to that man. She loved in spite of everything, even to her own hurt, which no one should have to do. She truly did him good and not evil. If he was a godly man, she would have continued. (Even after divorce, she continues to treat him better than he deserves, and I don't even have words for that. I can't reiterate enough how beautiful her soul is.) I felt God intervened and took her away from him for her protection and that of the children. That is my opinion.
Much is said of the industriousness of the virtuous woman. Cindy is industrious, though she has many responsibilities sat upon her. (I wish I could help.) She is busy, as we see with the Proverbs 31 woman, though not with making things. She has a career and children and friends and those she ministers to. How she touches all their lives always takes my breath away. I know she is capable with her hands, as well. There aren't any parts of this section that don't remind me of her in some way.
Cindy stretches her hand out to the poor. She takes care of people. She sees a need and fills it, at home, at her place of employment, and in all areas of her life. She is the giving tree, forever looking for someone to minister to.
Her children are clothed well. She puts so much effort into her kids, it is humbling. Other verses reveal how she lifts those around her up, always up. She loves all children, and, I think, all people. Strength and honor are her clothing. She is literally clothed in those attributes. Out of her mouth comes wisdom and kindness. That is Cindy, friends. If her children don’t call her blessed now, they will someday. If the Holy Spirit helps them recall, they will someday realize all the times she sacrificed and practiced selflessness for their sakes and the sakes of others.
Her character is beyond anything I found in any other woman. I would love to be the man to praise, protect, and care for her, but that is not up to me. Only God can give such a gift. And that is what she is. She is a gift to everyone around her. And gifts come with great responsibility to take care of them. We must recognize the gifts God puts in our lives.
She takes care of her household, which means everyone and everything in it. She even prepared for the future, in case some kind of destruction befalls her country or community. Always thinking ahead, always preparing. Always thinking of those around her. That's her.
She has incredible gifts. Spiritual. Mental. Otherwise. I don’t think she is completely aware of them. Nor am I. But I have seen them. I pray she uses them to the fullest. She is very blessed. Fearfully and wonderfully made.
Many praise her. She has many attributes that deserve praise. Her husband took advantage of those things, creating a picture of Christ's love for us. Cindy gave herself to those around her, including an ungrateful, cheating, and abusive man. What a powerful testament to God's love. If no one else will praise her, I will. Though I may never be in her life again, I will continue to praise her, for she is infinitely deserving.
Many things about women are deceitfully beautiful. It took me years to figure that out. The true measure of a person's worth is only known by God. I passed up an opportunity to share my life with a woman who would have taken care of me, helped me get through my breakdowns, and would have lifted me up. She would have taught me how to love and how to live a godly life. Though she is not in my life, I recognize her beauty is beyond the beauty of any woman I've known. What makes her beautiful to me is not only external. It is what God put in her heart. That is a thing of beauty. I could say much more about her. This is just a comparison. Maybe it helps explain why I've been so enamored with her.
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My writing is turning a different direction. I have to shift gears. That doesn't mean I don't feel the same way about that girl. It just means I can't add anything right now. (If she was in my life, I'd have more to write about.) My heart breaks for that girl. I know it shouldn't. She's fine. But she had so much stolen from her. Still, what she went through put her on a different plane. She supersedes me in every way. I am humbled and grateful I got to know her. I pray God restores the years the locusts have eaten. Whatever or whomever God has for her in the future will be a true blessing. (Would it were me.) And she will be a blessing to them. That much I know.
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I had multiple breakthroughs recently. I'm still processing that. I feel God is saying it's okay to move forward now, at least in some areas. I don't feel blocked or impeded in those ways anymore. Something happened last night, even, that made me feel God answered my request to move forward. (It doesn’t involve moving forward with a person.) Maybe it was just symbolic. But it felt like an answer to prayer. Actually, it was an answer to prayer, now that I think about it. I asked for that specific thing, God willing. Huh. I forgot about that. And herein we see again the value of this blog by jogging my memory. Haha.
I may not be able to write much for a bit, as I start training for my job on Dec. 20. It is mostly out-of-town training. One week one place, one week here, one week somewhere else, and then back here to do my job. Pray I do well if you are the praying kind. It is a good company. After my fast and testimony that pertains to that, I feel this blog may have a new life. But it isn't up to me. It is up to God. My favorite things to write about were God and Cindy, both beautiful and inspiring. I hope to continue this blog and fill it with good news. Amen. Take care, everyone.
Thank you for reading. And God bless.
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