Thankful

I'm thankful for so much. I'll never be able to capture it all in this space. I dwell too often on what I don't have. Yes, I still ache for some things; I submitted my desires to God. Today I'd like to dwell on what I do have. There are no words adequate enough to describe God's many gifts. I am blessed beyond what I can articulate. Since Thanksgiving is coming up, I thought I'd at least try to articulate some of my blessings. 

I was exceedingly blessed by the love shown to me by people I've known in my 44 years. I wish I had been more aware of the decisions I was making as a kid (or as an adult), but I learned to forgive myself. That's a huge blessing in and of itself: forgiveness. The forgiveness God showed me I am able to show others, including myself. Thank God for forgiveness. It is truly a get-out-of-jail-free card. I was loved greatly. And I was greatly forgiven. 

I'm thankful for God's direction. I was able to essentially start over in life at the hoary age of 44. Hopefully, this is something I don't have to do again (or, at least, anytime soon). It's hard. I made the right decisions and did it the right way. It was right to move. It hasn't been as hard as it could have been, though I am less than a month into it. Still, my path was smoothed before me. Even a dullard like me can recognize a blessing like that. My many concerns were brought before God daily. You may notice I mention God a lot lately. I've been staying very close to Him. 

We were being poisoned by an old gas furnace. It was leaking carbon monoxide to the tune of 120 parts per million or whatever, which is pretty high. My bedroom is above the furnace room, so I was probably getting a lot. (I was even saying things like, "Why do I feel so bad?" and "It feels like I've been poisoned." Sheesh.) Anyway, the new furnace will keep us warm and won't poison us! It is easy to see God's protection in how things played out. He always protects us, even when we're not smart enough to do it ourselves. I take responsibility for ignoring the warning signs. And I praise God we are all okay. It is important I thank God even for the bad things because 1) they can always be worse and 2) God uses them for our good in some way. 

And we are all okay. Things have been hard. But we'll all be okay. I am positive things can progress quickly from this point. My son has really taken to his new home. There are some signs of grief, but overall he's done remarkably well (and much better than me) in his new home. The time I've been able to spend with him and the support we've given him has no doubt played a role in that. But, really, it's just God's provision. This is the path He said He'd bless. He is directing our steps. I don't get to know everything. I just have to be willing to follow along.

I'm thankful for a job. Yes, I knew God would provide. It is He, after all, who gives us the power to make wealth. Relying on myself was too much. I left everything in His hands. Do you sense a theme? Haha. I'm too old to take everything on myself anymore. It broke me, doing that for so many years. I'm thankful I don't have to do that anymore. Jesus' burden is indeed light. 

I could go on and on about the benefits of living in this new place. I'm thankful for so many things. Mostly, I am thankful God closed that door behind me and locked it so I had to go forward. Some things have to be done, regardless of how scary they are. And it was scary. I still have anxiety but I'm not terrified anymore. 

God opened up a pathway to healing, which is what I asked. Though others may not understand, I am committed to following through, for myself and for the sake of those around me. Nothing is holding me back. I feel free to move forward at the Lord's direction. I prayed for His permission to move forward, and it feels like that is being executed. If I whine about the pace of change after this, remind me of what I asked. It's for the best. 

If you're celebrating this wonderful holiday of Thanksgiving this week, I hope you take a moment and consider your many blessings, too. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it is not about us. It is about the Giver of gifts. 

Often we settle for what we have when we could have so much more. So, I'm asking God for all His blessings. Not because I'm ungrateful for what I have. But because His blessings are so good and always lead back to Him. And that is what this blog has become about. It started out as a way to release and process pain and ended up as a chorus of praise. I never foresaw myself even getting to this point, so whatever God does after this is a huge bonus. Amen to that. 

Thank you for reading. And God bless.

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