my careless contagion

I'm thankful for so much. I'll never be able to capture it all in this space. I dwell too often on what I don't have. Yes, I still ache for some things; I submitted my desires to God. Today I'd like to dwell on what I do have. There are no words adequate enough to describe God's many gifts. I am blessed beyond what I can articulate. Since Thanksgiving is coming up, I thought I'd at least try to articulate some of my blessings.  I was exceedingly blessed by the love shown to me by people I've known in my 44 years. I wish I had been more aware of the decisions I was making as a kid (or as an adult), but I learned to forgive myself. That's a huge blessing in and of itself: forgiveness. The forgiveness God showed me I am able to show others, including myself. Thank God for forgiveness. It is truly a get-out-of-jail-free card. I was loved greatly. And I was greatly forgiven.  I'm thankful for God's direction. I was able to essentially start over in li...

I decided, after enduring one of the worst years of my life (2019), it's clear this new year needs to carry a different tune. In my praying and soul searching, I've gone to God to ask what kind of attitude I should have through all of these harsh realities. The answer was I should rejoice, I should praise Him, and I should be thankful. So I will focus on those themes in 2020. I do, after all, have a lot to rejoice about, praise God about, and be thankful for.  God's answers to my many prayers are in themselves something to rejoice about, praise Him for, and be thankful for. But I was reminded of a moment when I was told to essentially discard a great blessing, at least, symbolically. It involved a bad sweater.  It seems like a long time ago, but it wasn't that long ago. When my ex, Kate, and I moved to the Black Hills nearly 6 years ago, we were starting over. We barely had any money. She was working part-time, and we had crazy bills to pay. She cashed in her ret...

This post will no doubt raise a few eyebrows. But, I discuss my theories here sometimes, so bear with me. Believe whatever you want to believe.  My God is a jealous God. I went the other way from Him most of my life, only to be brought back. My God jealously fought for me and sought me out, and put me into situations He knew would crush my resolve to lead a life He could not bless. Eventually, I ran back to Him, mostly because He took away all other choices!  I gave my life to God when I was 15. I don't mean that I accepted Jesus as my savior then; I did that when I was a little boy and many times, actually. I mean I gave my entire life , every second, every moment, every breath to God. It was a promise I made. Then I rescinded it and did my own thing because following God is hard . But God didn't forget my promise, and that's why He chased me so zealously in the intervening years. I put a lot of idols in my heart in that time (really, anything that prevented me from...

I don't even know why I'm writing this. I guess because I'm obsessed.  Today in my feed, this ridiculous story about Meghan Markle popped up. Go ahead and read it. I'll wait.  First of all, how does Thanksgiving offend the British? The whole article is pointless right from the start. They just want to put her out there yet again. Because, well, she's adorable . Actually, they're both adorable.  Confession time. I've been obsessed with the newest royal couple since, well, since they've been a couple. Luckily for me, my Yahoo! feed sends me these stupid stories every day. Yes, every damn day.  One thing about me is I'm a bit of a dreamer. Maybe you've noticed. I like thinking that princes and princesses actually exist and they're blissfully happy in their snappy clothes as they attend every dinner, event, appearance, and wedding in the UK. I mean, do they ever sit down? All they do is go to a never-ending stream of events. It's ...