Elastic Heart - Sia
Sia's Elastic Heart. If you haven't listened for a while, take a moment. I'll wait.
The lyrics, according to Wikipedia, "address 'the overwhelming strength Sia needed to convince herself that life was worth living after coming out of a crushing relationship.'" It is for that reason I post it.
You say, "Hey, I thought we weren't looking back anymore." Correct. We aren't looking back. It was this week I admitted I am healthy emotionally again. (Even said as much.) It's been a long time since I felt this good. It dawned on me. I'm not running. I'm not hiding. God did something in all that chaos. I feel closer to integration after more than a year of dissociation. Yes, something broke, but my heart is free and intact. My heart doesn't belong to anyone, nor do I need to give it to anyone. If anything happens from this day forward, it comes from a place of health and security.
The song came out in 2013. As for the video, it was controversial. It's hard for me to watch. Sia said the two characters were playing the same person (Sia). Sure, whatever. They say when you look at art, when you see tells you more about yourself. As art, it's a good depiction of a battered heart fighting to reintegrate. Pretty flawless in that respect. I can't take anything away from anyone, but Maddie was too young for this adult theme. The lyrics are pop yet have depth that can be felt. Sia's delivery is unlike any other. Every note is gold. Honestly, I don't know how she hits those notes with the power she does.
They say if you've been hurt or betrayed badly, it's a brave thing to try again. I don't know if I will get a chance for that, but it's good to know God can completely reset your situation. But He won't if you don't give Him access.
I can't take credit for where I am today. It's only by the mercy of God I live, though I can't say I'm not broken. Life broke me, though I fought valiantly to love. I don't believe love is meant to be kept close to the chest. It's meant to be shared, scattered at all costs. Find someone to love. Don't worry if they are worthy or not. None of us are. Just love, because the one who loves truly lives. Love is freedom. Love is pure. Without love beating in your chest, why are you even here?
***
God is doing something. I don't know what it is yet, but it feels big. With God, there are no coincidences. God gave me the ability to see a situation from multiple levels at once, so while I may focus on one at a time, I am aware of others. There is a lot I haven't said, but that doesn't mean I'm not aware. With all that's going on in the world (Epstein files, Coldplay Jumbotron cheating couple, war), it's important to remember there will always be distractions. Focus on what Christ wants you to do. You will spend all of eternity with Him.
Thank you for reading. And God bless.
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