A tale of two hearts
Someone pointed out that King David and Bathsheba had several children after they were married, one of whom was named Nathan. If you remember the story of when David was confronted about his adulterous affair with Bathsheba, you know that's also the name of the prophet who delivered the resounding report on David's illict activities: "Thou art the man."
You wonder why David and Bathsheba would name one of their children after the man who exposed their affair (as if everyone didn't already know)? It is because of King David's heart, a heart unlike any other in scripture. God loved David so much He sent His son through his lineage (Solomon, who also came from his union with Bathsheba). Why? He was a man after God's own heart. And we see that heart in action when he named one of his sons after the man who doubtless saved his life by reconciling him with God before it was too late.
I find David easy to study because he made monumental mistakes. That resonates. But when he was chastised, he came back to the Lord in the correct spirit. His heart was unlike any other king's, certainly dichotomous to the heart of King Saul. If one were to study those two hearts, I think much could be understood about the nature of God and what He wants to see in His children. In short, be like King David when you screw up and not like King Saul, who made excuses, blamed others, and covered up his misdeeds.
God already knows what you did. He's not in need of your information: "God, I screwed up." He wants to know what your response is to having your sins revealed. Will you go the way of Saul or David? Either way, you will be punished. But if you go the way of Saul, you will lose everything. It is such a tragic story. So much promise, so much talent wasted. God wasn't going to let the next king take the throne untested. David endured about 15 years of waiting after he was anointed king. No one saw him as king, even after he was anointed. He went back to tending flocks.
That humble heart carried through his entire life. God tested him and saw what he would do when given the necks of his enemies, even Saul's, who sought his life.
Maybe you're reading this and God is impressing upon you the need to be humble or confess something, to let go of your pride, or to stop covering up your sin. Maybe you will scan this, close the page, and forget it forever. I don't know what you need; only God does. But if conviction spreads through you in this moment, don't ignore it like King Saul. Get on your knees before the living God and express contrition like King David. It may save your life.
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It's quite a thing to deliver a message like that, you say. Big words. Coming from such a beggarly man. I don't judge others. I have no idea who this message was for. But if you judge me, it means you'll endure the same, as God is not mocked. It's fine if you judge. Just know you will reap the same.
As for my heart, things are going as predicted in the post The Naked and Famous — Young Blood. My son is set to leave my life soon, as I will be working up to 18 hour days and traveling much. When I asked God for a better work situation for me and my son's sakes, He did not provide it. Which tells me the weaning has begun. I suspect I will be taken soon so must tidy up. I continue to pray and hope God intervenes for both our sakes. I believe when we ask something in line with His will, He provides. It's not up to me to tell the will of God, but if God wants me on this planet, it makes sense He would let me have my son a little longer. No, I'm not making an idol of my son. I'm trying to do my first job, which is to be his father. It's hard to be his father when I don't see him. It's not right that I ask for prayer, but this is one moment I would like to. This situation sat with me as I lay in bed last night. My heart turned angry, but then I remembered. God is God. This is His show. I repented of my anger and surrendered the situation, praising God for His infinite wisdom. It's fine if I don't understand right now. I can only fall on God's mercy, and He is good, no matter what.
Thank you for reading. And God bless.
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