On a Tuesday
The phrase "on a Tuesday," to me, denotes something happening on an ordinary day. Does anything extraordinary happen on a Tuesday? Tuesdays used to be the worst at my old job. If anything bad was going to happen, it would be on a Tuesday. But something wonderful and unexpected happened the first Tuesday in August.
Tuesday was the day Cindy drove by while I was working in her neighborhood and stopped to say hello. I saw her smile and was already in a daze. The whole conversation lasted less than two minutes, but I walked away feeling like a different man. I no longer cared that I was swamped by work, was running out of energy, and was hot and thirsty.
I sent her a text that simply said, "I miss you" the day before. She said she missed me too and thought of me often. She said she couldn't move forward with me at the moment (I know, it was the one downer of the conversation) and I didn't have to wait. How much time did I have to rebut that? When the girl of your dreams says you don't have to wait for her, your answer is, "Yes, I do."
In the last half decade, I didn't move forward with anyone else because 1) I am in love with Cindy and 2) I don't want anyone else. My choice between moving forward with someone else and moving forward with no one was always an easy one. I'd rather be with no one than someone else. It was always her I wanted. I said we will wait for each other. I'm thrilled and honored to wait to be a part of her life again. It fills me with happiness every time I think about it. I get to have the girl of my dreams in my life? I just have to a wait? Sign me up.
Then she said something else. We were saying goodbye and she said she loved me. At least that's what I heard. That's what every synapse in my brain wanted to hear, so maybe I heard it no matter what she said. She could have said, "Bless you," or something like that. I heard, "I love you," so I said, "I love you, too." She either drove away wondering why I said that or maybe she thought I said, "Bless you too." But seriously, I know we love one another. I just haven't heard her say it in a long time. And maybe she didn't even say it, but it was my favorite thing. Though I was soaked in sweat and tired and entirely too hot (Started wearing shorts and now look like Jack Hannah. Go ahead and laugh; I won't let you pet my lemur.), my day turned around on a dime. It was like I floated through the rest of the day, had flowers growing in my lungs, and the world became more colorful and friendly. Even the angry, barking dogs I know all too well seemed to hate me less. I stood six inches taller and my voice grew deeper and more assertive (okay, maybe that's a stretch). You get the idea. I didn’t sleep well that night because I was so excited and thoroughly enjoyed the idea of being in her life again someday. Every time I think about my future, she is in it. She feels like home. No, I can’t hardly wait (bad grammar but a good sentiment), but I will, for her.
She smelled good and looked good and seemed happy to see me. I am in love with her face, her eyes, her teeth and hair, her skin, and everything else that's a part of her. As I walked away, I thought, "That girl is a bombshell." And she just crashed into me. It was her, my Cindy. On an ordinary day — a Tuesday — my whole world changed. Yeah, she's a bombshell. I can’t possibly be more attracted to a woman. She can crash into me any day.
We love each other but are waiting. That is what I know. And that, my friends, gives me an incredible happiness, a happiness I don't have the words to describe. If you followed this blog for any length of time, you know how much that conversation means to me. Sometimes the girl of your dreams stops by to tell you she loves you and misses you on a Tuesday. What new world am I living in?
***
Haven’t been able to write much lately. My ex got sick for a whole week so I had my son quite a bit. I haven’t felt well. Lots of chest congestion. I walk around doped up on sleeping pills and antihistamines. My writing is pretty crappy lately, I admit, though I did bang out a lovely piece I think I’ll hang on to for a while. It's special.
Until half a decade ago I had no idea exactly how special Cindy was. Our conversations remain with me because I saw something unbelievable in her. I chose to love her because she exceeded all my expectations of a human being. If she does nothing the rest of her life, she still has my undying respect and adoration. I have feelings for her I've never had for any other. During our short conversation, I had to look at away at one point because I was overwhelmed by her presence and my reaction. Eye contact and the subject of our conversation quickly overloaded my senses. (I'm not exactly a delicate daisy.) I was on cloud nine. I know it won't always be so intense, so I enjoyed it thoroughly. I've always loved being in her presence.
She is a unicorn among women. I prayed thousands of times the lucky man who gets to be in her life would be fully aware of the treasure she is and treat her accordingly. Why do I keep coming back to this? I care about her infinitely (and always hoped I would be the lucky one), and she deserves something wonderful after so much heartache.
I think I’m going to remember this particular Tuesday in August for a long time. It will put a smile on my face as I fall asleep and nudge me out of bed on difficult mornings. I can’t wait to see her on the other side of this. I’m excited about her. No, I'm not going to freak out. (Right, cuz I didn't do that at all. Haha.) I'm just going to enjoy this. Hope y'all are doing well. I sure am.
Cindy later told me she hasn’t gotten a go-ahead from God to be with anyone. Her life, like mine, is directed by Him. So, I understand her reluctance to say for sure what the future holds.
Thank you for reading. And God bless.
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