my careless contagion

The phrase "on a Tuesday," to me, denotes something happening on an ordinary day. Does anything extraordinary happen on a Tuesday? Tuesdays used to be the worst at my old job. If anything bad was going to happen, it would be on a Tuesday. But something wonderful and unexpected happened the first Tuesday in August.  Tuesday was the day Cindy drove by while I was working in her neighborhood and stopped to say hello. I saw her smile and was already in a daze. The whole conversation lasted less than two minutes, but I walked away feeling like a different man. I no longer cared that I was swamped by work, was running out of energy, and was hot and thirsty.  I sent her a text that simply said, "I miss you" the day before. She said she missed me too and thought of me often. She said she couldn't move forward with me at the moment (I know, it was the one downer of the conversation) and I didn't have to wait. How much time did I have to rebut that? When the girl of y...

Okay, maybe "obsessed" is a strong word. But here are some things I'm really into. Or moderately into. Or things I like. Or just things I'm okay with. Haha. Here is some stuff I have in my life. Or things I want in my life. Things I don't have enough of. Here is some stuff. Whatever.  Surely I've mentioned some of these before. And I apologize for taking a break from posting for a while, as I moved and am trying to settle in (and neither of those are easy tasks), was also without internet for a week and a half, and then the data on my phone ran out. This is probably a dumb and/or redundant post, but I felt the need to write something different. Because there is a risk of sounding OCD, I should state I'm not actually an obsessive personality. I am an ordinary man. I'm methodical, meticulous, and detail-oriented. I admit that. I keep track of things. I'm responsible and organized. Obsessed is the wrong word, but I'll use it anyway. Here are some ...

There is beauty in everything, even in endings, autumn reminds us. When we see the colors appear in the leaves, we say their color is changing. We say green is their normal color, but actually green is summer. Their true colors are revealed in fall when the chlorophyll drains away. What we see as a change is actually a revealing. What autumn means is we finally get to see what was under it all. In that way, fall is the most honest of seasons. Perhaps that is why I love it. Yes, it is that time again. Time for my annual ode to fall, my favorite season. I wish it wasn't so short in the Black Hills because the crispness of the air is intoxicating, though a bit unnerving because I know winter is not far away. I start to notice leaves changing in mid-August and by the end of the month, it's all around me. When September comes, the calendar says fall is still weeks away, but I know it's already here. There is a noticeable shift from one season to another, a moment when you realiz...

The realizations are coming hard and fast. I've been a fool; that's understood. I've begun to see myself for what I truly am. And it ain't pretty, folks.  My good qualities are known. I hope big. I love even bigger. I am driven. I don't mind throwing myself into hard situations. I've learned I don't have to rely on myself all the time. But, I'm still independent. That's all good.  What bothers me is what I didn't see. Or, rather, what I didn't want to see. I deceived myself in matters of the heart. I walked right into a pit and a snare — one right after the other.  I will attest to her good qualities until the day I die. I've known this girl since we were ten years old. I watched her grow up into an impressive young woman, lost her for many years, then discovered her to be the same person she was then, only better. She's amazing. I can't say it enough. She's the smartest woman I've ever known. She has an eerie in...