Never Let Me Down Again (Depeche Mode)
Ah, Depeche Mode. I used to listen to this band a lot when traveling. The sound was conducive to flying over pavement of various vibrations through the shifting American landscapes, one moment surrounded by concrete and skyscrapers and the next cornfields and pastures. I could chose several songs by this band, but this one saw a resurgence in popularity because it was featured on HBO's The Last of Us, which I tried to watch but realized it was yet another soap opera masquerading as an adventure in zombie land. The action got less and less and the talking got to be too much and after the gay episode, I had enough and quit watching. It seems all entertainment is a vehicle for agenda now. Needless to say, The Last of Us let me down.
And that's what the song is about. People letting us down. Or not letting us down. Whichever your perspective. I recently tried to get in touch with the parents of one of my best friends growing up. We had been talking through Facebook, but my Facebook account was hacked and I was too lazy to create a new one. It's just gone. So I tried to contact one of their daughters. She never replied. So I contacted their son, my friend. We talked a bit, which was nice, and he gave me his mom's number. I texted and never received a reply. So, sometimes we just have to let things go. We may want something, but they may not. Or maybe it's not a priority. Or was just overlooked. Either way, it's nothing we can do anything about. Take those who want to be in your life along for the ride. Those who don't, don't worry about. It's a very mature assessment of how relationships work, but it's necessary to learn at some point. People will let us down, even those closest to us. I'm sure I've done that too. My goal is to be a better friend, but I realized I don't really have any friends. Haha. And so it goes. Anyway, I would be a good friend for those who want to be my friend, at least.
Never Let Me Down Again was released in 1987. Depeche mode is an English electronic band. Or however you want to categorize them. They still tour, but one of the founding members passed away a bit ago. They are one of the most well-known bands in the world. They aren't Leonard Cohen famous (I consider him the most famous international musician of our time, even though many don't know his name but they know his music), but they are famous. They still fill stadiums. Their sound is mostly associated with the 80s. One of my favorite songs they released is Precious, a song I always thought was about divorce, long before I ever got a divorce or had a child. Anyway, I don't have much else to say about this song or this band. I don't listen to music much anymore. Relationships can be easy or they can be hard. It's important to see the signs for what they are, though. If someone makes it clear they don't want to be in your life, respect that. And move on. God has friends for you. And don't consider it an odd thing when people walk out of your life. They're just moving through life. You can't walk toward something without moving away from something else. Be okay with it. You're doing the same thing.
Rainy day musings
I decided to pursue a different job. It's not that my job isn't good. It's just that I don't want to do it forever. I realized while looking at employment listings that it's likely going to take some time to get to a better place. And I felt a voice say something to the effect of, "If you want to end up in a better place than where you've been, you're going to be uncomfortable and do things you didn't want to or imagine doing, both in the pursuit of it and living in it." It was a rather brusque thing to hear, but I needed to hear it. So, just preparing myself for that may take some time and effort. It makes sense. We can't get to a better place by doing the same lackluster thing we've been doing. And, ultimately, God goes before me and prepares the way. I don't want something that He doesn't want for me. I pray He clearly guides me down the right paths.
Concerning the girl, I know she's been through a lot. I don't think anyone knows but her and God what she's been through. I'm sure it was all justified and forgotten by her ex, so he likely doesn't remember or let himself remember. The blame — surprise, surprise — always belongs to someone else when talking about the actions of a narcissistic predator, which I believe he is. I pray for him, of course, because I believe he should change, but, in her case, the damage is done. I don't know how much she can recover from what she's been through. I pray God will restore the years the locusts have eaten sevenfold. The trauma and abuse she endured may take time to heal. I hope she realizes she can hold my hand as she passes through those healing milestones. I will support, love, and accept her through that process (as much as she wants). My prayer is she blossoms under God's care. She hasn't vocalized much of what she's been through, and I think one of the first steps of healing is an honest recognition of what happened. In some way, it has to come out. What that looks like for her, I don't know. I believe she won't let another person have control of that process. She would be more likely to share it in a diary or journal form rather than with another human being. In her mind, she likely risks being re-traumatized. I don't know much about her healing journey, but I pray for it often. It's something I want to live to see.
On another note, I sincerely hope she uses me and takes advantage of me in whatever way she wants. In a respectful way, of course. Don't make that something it isn't. That's a bold statement, but I offer myself to help her in any way possible. It would be smart if she'd welcome that, but I know her and she probably won't. I would do just about anything for her. It's not just because I'm attracted to her (which I am, of course). It's because I love her and seek the best for her.
A final note is this. I'm happiest when I'm giving. I probably need to seek out circumstances that allow me to give of myself more because that lends meaning to life and somehow makes me happy. Whether it's a job or relationships, I believe we are at our best when we match our personalities with what we're doing. But that is up to God. So I leave these questions in His capable hands. Amen.
Thank you for reading. And God bless.
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