my careless contagion

A post no one asked for. My last post was kind of like the movie 28 Hours Later. This one is more like 28 Days Later. (Those who've seen the film will recognize the photo of him waking from his hospital bed to a very different reality.) If I'm still here writing when it's time for 28 Years Later, shoot me. Honestly, though, the comparison of my love life to a zombie apocalypse is apropos.  I can see why, in the old days, jilted lovers ended up in the loonie bin or went off to join the Foreign Legion. Because so many of your thoughts are about one person, and when that person leaves your life, you still think about them (synapses gotsta synapse), and your own thoughts become enemies. You can't escape your own brain. I don't know why my reaction was so powerful, but the upside of having an explosive emotional reaction is getting over it fast.  It doesn't simmer or twist or churn inside. Just felt what I needed to feel and was done.  I'll never feel those thing...

Nine years ago this month I gave up alcohol, which I believed God told me to do. That obedience spawned many blessings — blessings which I am still counting today as they multiply. In case you're wondering why I chose the above photo for this post, it's because I liked it. Yes, I know it has nothing to do with my testimony, but it gives me warm fuzzies and so does this post.  Yes, this blog is mostly dormant now. I wrote a lot here over the course of more than five years. (Nearly 600 posts!) But, I can't miss this opportunity to thank and praise God for the freedom from alcoholism, which is something that plagued my family line and snared me for the better part of 16 years. I know the reasons I started drinking and how my mental, physical, and spiritual health suffered as a result of using alcohol to deal with situations. It's amazing the toll it took on me, though. Alcohol clearly made my life worse. It numbed me for a short time, but it made my life worse.  Do I still...

The book of Jonah isn't very long, yet it contains a brilliant little story that is often overlooked. We've been taught the story since Sunday school, but how much have we pondered what actually happened and the ridiculousness of this story? Read on if you'd like to take a moment to consider the reality of what happened in this story of stubborn Jonah. Here is the story if you'd like to re-read it before we begin . This is not an exhaustive treatise; just observations on this little book. I've often thought that if I were ever to be like one of God's prophets, I would most resemble Jonah, as he was full of anger and bitterness. I'm no longer full of anger, though, as I spent much time being humbled in my walk and also because I've forgiven much. Why was Jonah so angry with God and the Ninevites, anyway? He was angry with the Ninevites because they were mortal enemies of his people, the Jews. They persecuted and pillaged and killed the Jews for quite some...

Eight years ago I embarked on a new adventure. It was time to move. I was living in Ohio but learned my ex was pregnant (April 1, actually) while we were visiting my parents in Florida. I wanted to be the best dad I could be. For some reason, God took this heart desire and led me out of Ohio, leaving sinful practices behind.  One of those sins was alcoholism. It was in April eight years ago I quit drinking. I memorialize this fact every year because it was a miracle. Everything God does for us is a miracle, but this was quite a big one. I was mired in self-defeat and suicidal thoughts. I was literally trying to kill myself with drink, though I didn't even understand the reasons why. When I stopped drinking, it opened the door to further obedience, which opened more doors and brought about more miracles. In the years that followed, I became free in many more ways.  It shows you God takes what little we do, what little we give Him, and multiplies it. Give Him a little obedience ...

The Giving Tree is a metaphor for ... well, giving human beings. I use it here that way. I realize Shel Silverstein was a certified creep . And, I know many now say the book is a metaphor for enabling and abusive behavior. I don't disagree. But, looking at the book without any of that, what is your first impression? It's sad, of course. But, it's also hopeful. And, it is about endless giving, which is beyond my comprehension. I believe that is how Jesus tells us to live. We are to give until there is no more to give. And then give more.  I know a person who exemplifies that giving spirit. This post is dedicated to her. After I learned more about her father, I saw where she got some of her tendencies. And her big heart that loves God and His creatures. I thank God every day I got to know that girl. I fell in love with her heart and will love it forever — even after I die — because it reminds me of God's love. She is the giving tree. She shows God's love. She makes me...

Sometimes it is necessary to issue apologies. Celebrities do it all the time, at the risk of being canceled otherwise. Well, I'm no celebrity, and there is no risk of me being canceled, except by God. But, sometimes we have to say we're sorry.  So, I'm sorry. There. Done.  Oh, wait. I should probably get into detail a bit.  I apologize to my ex, whom I slew a great deal on my blog. She's an ordinary human being. She is flawed. I didn't need to ax her asunder as I did. I wouldn't want anyone to tear me up the way I did her on these pages. I'm sorry for that. For the record, she seems quite happy without me and has no intention of letting me back in her life. She must have been happy to unload me.  I apologize to my parents, who did the best they could raising me. They did a lot to make sure I got the right opportunities and missed out on things that were less than savory. As for their faults, all I can say is everyone is human. There are no perfect parents. A...

John is my favorite gospel writer. He has a rare way of writing. And he wrote The Revelation , which is rapidly approaching. Anyway, in the book of John, we find this beautiful story of how God forgives our sin: Jesus and the adulterous woman (John 8:1-11). I will relate the story, then explain what it means to me. I have a hard time reading this story without crying because I am the adulterous woman (okay, I'm not a woman, but you catch my drift). God has forgiven me so much. I can't help but feel grateful. This is a short story, but it is so telling. *** 8  Jesus went unto the mount of Olives. 2  And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them. 3  And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, 4  They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. 5  Now Moses in the law c...

Recently I felt God convicted me of something. I'll mention that in a little bit. But first, I want to talk about the names of God. During these strange and troubling times, it is important to keep our eyes on God because "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." (Isaiah 26:3)  For those who are sick (or afraid they will get sick), claim this promise: " Bless the Lord , O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's." (Psalm 103:2-5) Recently, I came across the photo below which lists 17 names of God. Of course, the term "recently" doesn't mean much right now. I feel like I'm in a time warp. It may have been last year, actually...

Psalm 32 sounds an awful lot like Psalm 51. They are considered companion chapters, as they deal with the same thing and were most likely written at about the same time. Psalm 32, however, shows us what happens after David progressed through the awful reality of Psalm 51. Psalm 32 is about forgiveness.  I own a study Bible from the 1970s. It's old, and it looks it. It's just one of a few Bibles I own. I would say it's mid-pack in the looks department. No matter, because I want to talk about what it says inside. First of all, go ahead and read the psalm here . You can see there is a familiar progression, with David saying this is a "teaching moment," so to speak. But where Psalm 51 dwells on the raw reality of David's awful predicament, Psalm 32 is a reminder of God's forgiveness. David screwed up bigger than at any other time in his life. I mean, this was a massive series of mistakes he was caught up in. If he had not admitted his sins to Nathan the ...