Senior photos

You don't miss something until it's gone. In 2021, it will be a quarter-century since I graduated high school. If I had done things the right way, I would have graduated from college in 2000, gotten a good job, married a nice girl, and then had a few kids. All of those are blessings from God. Instead, I made my own way, screwed up my life, and have regretted my mistakes ever since. But let's take a look at what was, not what could have been.

My senior photos were taken in 1995. I don't know exactly when. It doesn't matter. I was asked to bring along some things that were meaningful to me. So I brought my Bible (pictured above), my fishing pole (fancy and collapsible), tackle box, and a whole lot of denim. Holy crap, the denim. The photo below is actually huge. I couldn't scan it so took a photo. All I'm missing is a denim belt (actually, it does bother me I'm not wearing any kind of belt). you'd think my parents worked for a textile factory. Also, I recall loving those shoes. Someone condescendingly told me Nike shoes were made with prison labor. Maybe there was an option for non-prison labor once upon a time. I don't know. The morality of shoe-buying didn't really occur to me at the time.

Yes, there are a lot more senior photos. I chose one classy one and one goofy one. I think I nailed it. You can even see the tackle box in the bottom photo. And I'm wearing a Maryland Terps hat for some unknown reason. I've always loved turtles, I guess. 

It's easy to say, now that I'm decidedly middle-aged, but I miss having a young, healthy body and my whole life ahead of me. I have been depressed most of my life with my poor decisions and the resulting consequences. I tried to do my best to live with the consequences, but they tend to compound over time. God had to rescue me from myself, and for that, I am forever grateful. 

If you look closely, there is almost a twinkle in my eye in the top photo. I couldn't wait to get my life going. I was excited about the next thing. And for graduating and getting out of Nebraska. I was a smart kid who made some really bad decisions. God stepped in to prevent me from sliding further into oblivion. Who knows what my life would look like today had I not cried out for His help?

I've said enough about all of that. This post is mostly poking fun at myself and my eagerness, my squeaky-clean-ness. I was a good boy who tried to live the best life he could. So maybe it's about time I let myself off the hook. The programming put in me in childhood was borne out in adulthood. I forgive all those who were at fault, which mostly means myself. No one put a gun to my head and made me do what I did. Like wear a lot of denim.

Thanks for reading, and God bless.