Mission impossible


I've crawled through ten miles of pain to get here. I've weathered ten thousand storms. I've broken myself to find the answers, and at the end of every day, there is always you. I know I will never get over you. 

 I may get along fine in life. I may "move on," as they say. But there is no moving on in the chambers of my heart. I may forget things upstairs, but there is no forgetting what my heart knows. In my chest, I am wholly yours.

What makes life worth living? Isn't it love? Isn't it loving with unreasonable fierceness? If so, then I am living as I should, and harder than I've ever lived. There is no breaking this thing. If you were to tell me again and a thousand times more you cannot make it, I will still love you. I'll stand alone if I can just keep on loving you. 

No, honey, I will never forget you.
I am no longer broken. Maybe some thought my love for you came out of that brokenness, but I am whole again and sane, a complete man standing before you. And I still attest I want nothing more than to keep you where you are in my heart. 

There are so many things I know I can do with my remaining days. There are things I want to accomplish and, God willing, I will. But there is one thing I know I cannot do, and that is get over you, to stop loving you, to be anything but completely in love with all of you and forever.

 My dear, you may fly to the dark side of the moon, but you will always be right here with me. You may never be mine, but I'll always pretend you are. I may never see you again except in my dreams. I may never know if you felt any of this, but that won't change how I feel. 

 I found you much too late. I know it's impossible to be with you. I won't ask you to change how you feel, and, in return, you cannot ask me to change how I feel. In a world that's always changing, my heart won't. In a world full of people who want to love you the wrong way, I promise to love you the right way, even if I have to do it from a thousand miles away. I'll walk that line, even if you're not on the other end of it. In my dreams, my hands will always reach for yours, even if they never find them. 

 It's you who taught me how to love. Trying to kill how I feel about you only makes it stronger. So I'm going to love you. Like there's no tomorrow. 

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