Silence

What do I tell them
when they ask:
what happened to that girl
the one you couldn't live without?

What came of all the hours
the days, the months
that turned into years,
the pouring out of your soul?

What do I say when they ask me
why haven't I moved on
why haven't my skies torn open
and rained down relief upon
this dry, crying-out land?

Why, when there are so many girls,
are you hung up on the one girl
who erased you faster
than an August forest fire
and turned your world into smoke and ashes?

I could say something about
the nature of hope, of desire, of love –
how love is really nothing more than loyalty,
which is something she showed me

I could say, "You just
have to take one soulful look
into those green eyes
and you would begin to understand."

I could wade into
the kind of woman she is
the heart, the soul of her
her unflagging selflessness
her purity, her naivety
the wholesomeness of her actions
the power of her tender, breathy voice
when I pick up her call
how even the toss of her hair makes me
fall in love all over again
How this little girl
moves me more than any song
or any book or any work of fiction
because she is real and beautiful
and broken and strong and I
get tears in my eyes because I
feel blessed just having known her 

How do I tell them
I've never known anyone like her
because in a world of plastic throw-aways
she's precious like no one else? 
How do I tell them about the love
raging in my chest for her?
My heart
which has only begun loving her
flip-flops in my chest
at the mere mention of her name
how, though she's gone,
I know she's never left

I laugh at those who wonder
because the secret is unseen:
she lives in me
of course she does, they say

When they ask me
dumbfoundedly why
I could say all of this
but all I have for them
is silence
because they will never understand
that a woman like her even exists
that I have seen her soul
and its depth is unsoundable, its tenderness
beyond compare, its beauty greater
than all the vistas of the world
It was there in her soul
that I saw my home
a place of rest after so much 
turmoil and trouble
a place of peace
where I intend to lay my head
the rest of my days

I open my mouth to tell them
all of this, but all that comes out
is silence.