my careless contagion

A good man, they say, is hard to find. That's possibly true, though not as true as some would like to believe. Men had to unlearn how to be men in the face of feminism, which robs us of our God-given drive to love, protect, and provide for those God puts in our lives. I often have the urge to help a woman (say she's stuck in a snowbank or can't lift something), but unless she asks, I hesitate. Why? I don't want to be the creepy guy no one asked for but showed up anyway. I'm sorry, but that's the world now.  These are some things I gathered about good men. These are not all me (I'd like to think I'm a good man), but I am some of these things. I will say this: a good man is a game-changer, not just for women but everyone they affect. When a woman loves a man, that love multiplies. She gives him much more than just herself. It's hard to explain, but that's how it works. Women are amazing and created by God to do certain things. What they do, I canno...

I don't know if she still reads here. I don't know if she thinks about me much anymore. I really don't know much, but I know she means the world to me. I see her trying. She's afraid. She's holding on to what she knows. She's afraid of what she doesn't know. I wish it was easier. Someday it will be. I know she'll be okay. I know because my Father told me.  When someone has been through hell in a relationship, they don't have the same fire to begin again. The fire is gone, but the need for love remains. The struggle of that person is a spectacular thing. It is a precious fight for sanity and safety and to not lose oneself in love. I want her to know it will be okay. We will both be okay. Because neither of us are in control. There is One who is in control, and He knows our struggles. He sees every tear and frustration, every moment of terror. Every fear. Every time we look in the mirror and wonder if they see what we see. Every moment we see that slip...

You're forgiven if you've never seen the 2017 movie The Greatest Showman. I don't believe it was as popular as it was intended. It is about P.T. Barnum and his circus. It's Hollywoodized, clearly, so it's not entirely accurate, but it does make for a good story.  There is a verse in Proverbs that says, "The eyes of man are never satisfied." There is something in us that pushes always toward more and greater. The movie has many messages, but the overriding one is to be satisfied with the good things in your life. Of course, it's easy to say that once a person has achieved greatness just as P.T. Barnum had, right? Haha. To those of us who struggled most of our lives to achieve a modicum of normal it's quite another thing.  But, this is really about the song for me. Never Enough is amazing in the movie, and it stands well on its own. It's quite impressive. It gives me goosebumps every time. What's even greater is realizing someone actually san...

God answered my prayer. I won't say what it was exactly, but it was on my mind and my heart for quite some time. (It doesn't have to do with a certain wonderful lady; that's all I will say.) God did the most amazing thing. I didn't see a way out. I didn't see a solution. I submitted it to Him and left it there. The solution was the best possible outcome for everyone involved. It was simply a miracle. I haven't ceased to thank and praise Him. God is so good.  *** Watched a documentary called Grizzly Man recently. It's free on YouTube . What struck me about it was how destructive it is when people put anything before God in their lives, how it can lead to tragedy after tragedy. We can't expect anyone or anything to save us except the Lord.  This blog is now five years old. Though it's not really alive, it's also not dead. It's like a zombie, perhaps. Happy five-year anniversary to the zombie blog! Thank you for reading. And God bless. Christian...

By no means am I old but sometimes feel that way. I'm not on any medications. Am fairly active. God blessed me with good health. Still, I've been around a while and sometimes feel the weight of that. Here follow some things that painfully point out the fact that I've been on this planet a while. In case you wonder just how long, most would say I'm from Generation X. You know, the ones who grew up feral. If some of this sounds familiar, as if I've already talked about it, well, that makes sense. That happens when you get older. Grab a hot chocolate and pull up a chair. Let's get it on.  1. Young people. They have a lot of confidence that comes chiefly from being young. Just wait until the world makes you cry until you realize you know absolutely nothing, then get back to me. That's not bitterness speaking. But you don't know what's holding the world up until you realize it's certainly not you. Younger people have different expectations and don...

Can we try? Can we wade into this together, holding on to one another? This is such a beautiful thing. Please don't worry. Let's enjoy the journey. We don't have to see the whole way. We can trade knowing the future for knowing we're in this together. You and me and yours and mine. Let's do it. Let this thing we don't know what to do with grow from uncertainty to something we can't imagine living without. Please take my hand. I don't want to do this with anyone else.  This thing. It grows. It can take over our hearts silently. We wake and feel something undeniable blossoming within. Let's do this together and call it what we want. No one says it has to look a certain way or progress along a certain path. It's ours. We can take our time. We can press pause. We can jump ahead. Just as long as we do it together. We can meet. Talk. Lay in silence, you in my arms, and me keeping time to the sound of your gentle breathing and the sweet rhythm of your h...

You could call this a New Year's post: a bit of a look back and also standing on the edge of a new year, hoping for the best.  Let's start from right here, right now. I can't adequately explain what I'm going through because I lack perspective. Anytime we go through something that feels like change we momentarily lose perspective. That's why I felt the need to temporarily isolate myself from influences such as social media and greatly diminished my computer use. (No, it hasn't affected my ability to send my mom memes.) What I can say is something in me broke, leaving my attitude toward God and others changed. I have a strangely calm feeling similar to dissociation but without the disconnectedness. I feel tremendous peace. God showed me why I often attempt to do such hard things against all odds. Hard to explain. Best to save the explanation for later. What I know is it feels important and am committed to doing my part so God can finish the work He started. Doing...

I talked to the girl I love for a couple of hours yesterday. I love her dearly. It's impossible to express how much. One thing that became apparent years ago after she came back into my life (more than six years now) was how much she went through. The evidence was there. One of the first things she told me was she felt like a doormat. And then it was revealed she was neglected, abused, and cheated on. My heart went out to her because I endured much the same. I really hope she doesn't see this post in a negative light. It is a love letter of a different sort. I want her to know I will always be there for her and will do everything I can to protect her heart.  I don't know how deep the wounds go. Something tells me she put on a cheerful front for so long she doesn't even know. She is so used to distrusting she has to fight through her protective mechanisms and inclination to see my words and actions in a negative light. I pray to see her blossom and realize intimacy with ...