Some notes on man's best friend
My favorite dog (a chihuahua) on TikTok recently passed away. I was filled with grief for the little creature and her people. Dogs mean a lot to mankind, and have for eons. They are wonderful animals, and earned the distinction "man's best friend" for a reason. We all know that. Here are some conclusions I came to about dogs, and there is a human application, as well, if you're so inclined.
For my work, I'm often in people's backyards, so naturally meet a lot of dogs. I think about them a lot. One principle is people's perception of their animals versus a stranger's perception. How many times was I told, "Oh, he's nice," only to have a dog attempt to tear me limb from limb? There is a dichotomy in that. Dogs are a protective force, fierce when protecting their people. It's their job. Always was, though we don't need them much for that anymore. They are loyal and gentle with their own but brutal toward outsiders. I qualify as an outsider. Some are downright terrible guard dogs, I admit. They love visitors. Those are my favorites. For some reason, I remember their names (if I am introduced) more than I recall human's names.
My friend's dog, Brutus, is safe to love. He's not going to hurt or disappoint me (even if he changes his mind and doesn't want to take a walk). I think that's why people love animals. Animals experience affection and give the same, yet their contracts with us don't include heartache, unless they get sick and die. But death is a fact of life. Dogs don't really change their minds about us. They love us no matter what happens. Do they care if we lose our job? Do they care if we get cancer? Do they care if we keep a messy house or swear too much or kick them once in a while? Do they get the ick when we are not 100%? Different contracts. People change their contracts; dog's really don't. They are pack animals, and we are their pack. A pack animal without a pack is a very nervous animal. Even if they are abused or put in their place in the pack, they still have high regard for others and prefer to be no other place. Unless they are forced out, in which they have no choice.
I heard a radio sermon about covenant marriage, and it really struck me that no one really knows how to do marriage. Part of the bargain is, when one breaks the covenant by lying or cheating, etc., the other attempts to reconcile, holding the offending party accountable and by no means pretending the covenant was not broken. God showed this over and over again with the rebellious Israelites. With great pain, the Israelites were returned to their covenant. Why did God discipline them so? It wasn't because He did not love them. He was upholding His end of the covenant. It looks brutal because it was, but only because the Israelites were so rebellious and stiff-necked. When they were obedient, all was well. Marriage is a bedrock agreement, and many cannot carry it through. It has to be agreed upon by both parties. Simple and strong, yet elusive, at least for me.
Dogs have jobs. In parts of the world, dogs don't come inside. They are strictly outside animals and to let them inside negates their true function. Sled dogs, for example. A lot of people think of dogs as inside animals. Inside dogs are not the same. Can we agree? They are not tough. They don't like to go outside to pee when it rains. Something I realized is a dog left outside in the cold does not experience abuse by that. That is, it does not perceive its treatment as abusive or neglectful. Unless that dog has known the warmth of being inside. Without that comparison, there is no sense of lack. Once it has known the warmth of inside, it is never the same. Apply that to human behavior if you want.
Now spring-boarding to myself. Humor me. This was a rather shocking realization. I'm not a dog, but I have and still do elicit behavior similar to that of a rescue animal (not the kind that rescue people but the kind that are rescued by people from bad environments). As of 2021, the average life expectancy of a man in the U.S. is 73. Depression and/or anxiety diminish that number further to, some say, 66 years. I experienced a lot of depression and anxiety in my life as a result of, well, being alive. Kidding. I was abused as a child, and in every way possible. Look up the effects of child abuse on life expectancy and the stats indicate a drop of 10-20 years. If you crunch the numbers (and believe the numbers), I have likely no more than 20 years left on earth. Maybe even less than ten. Then, there is the lifetime of loneliness and isolation (much self-imposed) as a result of how I was treated. That state of being is also linked to premature death (similar to smoking 2-3 packs of cigarettes a day). No wonder I feel an urgency to move forward with the rest of my life. So, I decided to rededicate my remaining time to God, and if He decides to grant more, I accept. I'm thankful for all of my 46 years, though often filled with toil and heartache. I'm thankful for whatever I have left. A bus could wipe me off the road tomorrow. My job is fairly dangerous because I often work close to roads. Do you know the percentage of people who see someone working at the side of the road and move to the far lane? It's not high. One slip and I could be gone. I was in an accident recently. Not my fault. I was sitting still and got rear-ended. It was sad because I went to see if the lady who hit me was okay, and the second time I asked (after she exited her car and was safe at the side of the road) she said her dad was going to be so mad at her (she was born in 1984, if you wondered), but I said, "I'm sure he's just glad you're alright." And he arrived and said those exact words. He was not upset that I could tell. Nobody cares if there is an insurance claim. Accidents happen. That's what insurance is for. But losing someone or seeing them in pain is a punch to our very souls. Of course, if I believe all I said about life expectancy, doesn't that negate some of God's promises? Am I accepting what the enemy decided for my future if I agree to those terms? And, actually, what's wrong with that? I get to go home early. Regardless, it's safe to say I'm on the other side of the hill where time goes faster. That's why I gave whatever I have left to the Lord. All is well. Or, it will be someday.
Maybe y'all are wondering what's going on with me and my friend. I gave the situation with Cindy to the Lord, too. Our conversations and time together dwindled. She is incredibly busy and still manages to make time for me. I thank God for what I had and still have with her. It's okay if she needs to end things. I will thank God for that, as well, because He knows what He's doing. It's out of my hands. I loved her (and her children) fiercely, even when it was clear she (and they) did not love me back. Love is never wasted, though we may not see what it does or where it goes. It's always worth it. I chose to write the truth in this blog, which I did. It's an accurate representation, though exaggerated at times. What I said about her was right and true, in my eyes. Outsiders may disagree, and that's fine. She's one of the most virtuous women I ever knew, and, you could say, that's one reason we couldn't move forward. She never saw herself as deserving of what was offered, and I offered her every part of me. (Don't make that dirty. It's not.) Maybe she felt it or maybe she didn't, but she didn't reciprocate, for whatever reason. Her walls were mighty. Forcing love doesn't work, and I tried. It goes against the rules of love. Love is a mutual agreement (not necessarily a feeling, see above). Kudos to her for trying, which is all I asked. She gave me the same chance as she did her ex. (She kicked him out of the house seven years ago, felt remorse, tried to reconcile, dated, and stopped at some point, not sure when.) I'm satisfied we tried nearly everything. It was clear she wasn't comfortable with me leading the relationship, so I let her come in and out of my life if she wanted. That gentle approach was a compromise. The last update was she wasn't able to move forward with me because she couldn't love me appropriately, which was the most unselfish and perhaps the kindest rejection I ever received. There is evidence she's still trying, and after a year of seeing each other. That's how I saw the process. Not sure how she saw it. Last update before I go silent on this. Thanks for following along, but out of respect for what happens between two hearts, I should put the kibosh on future statements about us. She is my favorite female, and I enjoyed every moment with her. I'm thankful for my time with her and what I learned. She is an exemplary woman, and I will always wish her the best.
One more note related to dogs. I took an informal test, which was simply choosing an insect from a list, which then told me what kind of boyfriend I am. (Actually, I am no one's boyfriend, but who can resist taking a personality test?) I was the golden retriever boyfriend. Easygoing in a relationship, though a bit dopey. Oh, and the insect I chose was the honeybee. Don't ask me how they got one from the other. The wonders of science. Or make believe.
Today is Thanksgiving in my country. I'm thankful for so much, even things that don't look like blessings, because everything is given to us for a reason. I thank God for all of it, and that attitude of praise and gratitude changed my life more than any other behavior. I get it now. I'm getting there. Thank you, Lord. Have a blessed day.
Thank you for reading. And God bless.
Christian blog: a-better-hope.blogspot.com
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